Tuesday, September 6, 2005

Among other things

Anxiety sucks the big one

I was excited about big move until the next morning. Since then I've been experiencing multiple symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks that I just can't explain.

  • crying a lot (sobbing)
  • can't catch breath
  • tight chest
  • butterflies
  • tingly arms
  • restlessness
  • very lonely
  • hungry but no appetite - I didn't even want chocolate ice cream! Three bites and I was done!
  • racing heart
  • feeling overwhelemed (about what?)
  • exhausted
  • clenching jaw
  • tension in face
  • dull, slight headache
  • want to stay in bed
  • don't want to leave my condo but when I do, I don't want to return
  • distracted/no concentration

Thank goodness for my family and friends.

I was told that people go through all kinds of emotions when they purchase a home. The only thing I haven't freaked out about is how the hell I'm going to live my life and pay these payments. It's going to be tight. Just another thing to add to my worries now.

I have a hard time going to my friends and asking for help or just coming out and saying, "I'm having a hard time, I need you". I know they're there for me, it's just hard for me to admit I can't handle something.

I keep getting told that these feelings will pass and things will get better. I just want those feelings now. It scares me not to have control of my feelings.

I've gotten through some trying times, I can get through this. I just need time.... time.... time... time....

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