Bah Humbug rant

I love Christmas, don't get me wrong, but there are some serious dip shits that come out of the wood work this time of year.

Yeah, the malls are busier and it's next to impossible to get anywhere because of all the traffic. But when you add all the people who don't normally leave their houses to the road, it causes more problems. They don't know how to merge, signal or accelerate. They don't know how to park or just move out of the (my) way.

The temporary sales people (or maybe they're permanent and just stupid) aren't helping with anything. C'mon! There is no reason it should take 3 minutes to ring up a pair of slippers for that lady while there is a line of 12 people staring at you!

It's the Christmas season and Bed, Bath and Body doesn't have jack on sale except the Yankee Candle scent of the month.

I want to scream and shriek "MY NOSE! IT'S BURING!!!" every time I go into Michael's and have to pass within 50 feet of those damn cinnamon scented pine cones.

How can there be absolutely no, none, nada, zilch silver switch plates left at Menards? And what is that funky smell when you walk in the door????


Ahhh, Christmas. The most wonderful time of the year!

Free to be me

Be yourself. Who? Me? Who am I? I wear so many hats. I'm sweet yet I am such a bitch. I care so deeply and yet I couldn't care less. I'm funny but hey, this is serious stuff now. What did you say?! You've made me blush… say it again. I'm intelligent but goodness, what a ditz. Did I really just say or do that? I'm 30-something. No, 12 or 15. Wait, I'm four. Maybe I'm 20 again. Oh well, that's life; screw it. I am who I am. I'm all of the above.

There's nothing funny in Hinckley

I talked to my friend on Tuesday of last week. She was feeling pretty down. Recently, she's come on some hard times. She moved herself and her four kids an hour and a half from the city to live with her mom in a small town. This will be temporary until she gets some finances straight as well as her head. It hasn't been a happy time for her.


As of last Tuesday she had been there for two weeks. After laughing to her on the phone she said, "I haven't laughed for so long. There's nothing to laugh at here."

After hanging up I decided to take Friday off and drive up there for a surprise visit. I talked to her a couple more times to make sure she'd be around ("So, what do you and the kids have planned for Friday?")

I knew she had to be at the house between 10 and 11:30. I left at 10:20 for the hour and 20 minute drive. As I got closer and saw signs saying "Hinckley 42 miles... Hinckley 8 miles... Hinckley next two exits..." I was so excited. I exited with cell phone in hand waiting for the right time to press "send". At a stop sign I called "what are you doing" and so on. She set it up perfectly, "I suppose you're on your way to lunch?"

Me: Yeah, I was going to go to Hinckley for lunch.

D: Oh yeah! (laughing)

Me: Good, I'm two blocks away.

D: What? No! You are?

Me: Yep!

D: Ohhh! I'll meet you on the driveway!

I pull in, she comes out smiling and we hug and it's all good.We laughed all day.


Hinckley is a funny place.

Where's my bazooka?

Why can't this world be only me and the select few that I choose to live in it with me?

I can't stand ignorant people who are allowed to work in with the public. Some people shouldn't be allowed to answer phones, make calls or breathe in general.

Why can't everyone be perfect, like me?

For Good

Wicked song of the day (this one is stuck in my head)

ELPHABA

You’re the only friend I’ve ever had.

GLINDA

And I’ve had so many friends. But only one-- that mattered.(sings)

I’VE HEARD IT SAID

THAT PEOPLE COME INTO OUR LIVES FOR A REASON

BRINGING SOMETHING WE MUST LEARN

AND WE ARE LED

TO THOSE WHO HELP US MOST TO GROW

IF WE LET THEM

AND WE HELP THEM IN RETURN

WELL, I DON’T KNOW IF I BELIEVE THAT’S TRUE

BUT I KNOW I’M WHO I AM TODAY

BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...
LIKE A COMET PULLED FROM ORBIT

AS IT PASSES A SUN
LIKE A STREAM THAT MEETS A BOULDER

HALFWAY THROUGH THE WOOD

WHO CAN SAY IF I’VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?

BUT BECAUSE I KNEW YOU

I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD …

ELPHABA

IT WELL MAY BE

THAT WE WILL NEVER MEET AGAIN IN THIS LIFETIME

SO LET ME SAY BEFORE WE PART

SO MUCH OF ME

IS MADE OF WHAT I LEARNED FROM YOU

YOU’LL BE WITH MELIKE A HANDPRINT ON MY HEART

AND NOW WHATEVER WAY OUR STORIES END

I KNOW YOU HAVE RE-WRITTEN MINE

BY BEING MY FRIEND...
LIKE A SHIP BLOWN FROM ITS MOORING

BY A WIND OFF THE SEA

LIKE A SEED DROPPED BY A SKYBIRD

IN A DISTANT WOOD

WHO CAN SAY IF I’VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?

BUT BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...

GLINDA

BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...

BOTH

BECAUSE I KNEW YOU

I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD...

ELPHABA

AND JUST TO CLEAR THE AIR

I ASK FORGIVENESS

FOR THE THINGS I’VE DONE YOU BLAME ME FOR

GLINDA

BUT THEN, I GUESS WE KNOW

THERE’S BLAME TO SHARE

BOTH

AND NONE OF IT SEEMS TO MATTER ANYMORE

[They sing simultaneously]

GLINDA
LIKE A COMET PULLED FROM ORBIT

AS IT PASSES A SUN

LIKE A STREAM THAT MEETS A BOULDER

HALF-WAY THROUGH THE WOOD

ELPHABA
LIKE A SHIP BLOWN OFF ITS MOORING

BY A WIND OFF THE SEA

LIKE A SEED DROPPED BY A

BIRD IN

THE WOOD

BOTH

WHO CAN SAY IF I’VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?

I DO BELIEVE I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER

GLINDA

AND BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...

ELPHABA

BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...

BOTH

BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...

I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD.

Wicked!

That's right. The time is finally here. I'm going to see Wicked.

I went last June in Chicago and have been obsessed every since. I've had these tickets since November and I can't believe the day finally here!

I just hope it's as good as I remember and I hope that the people I'm going with love it as much as I want them too. I've been really trying to pump them up. They haven't been jumping up and down when I talk about them. I, however, bounce off the walls when I talk about it! :)

True embarrassment

My friend and I were 90 miles from home in a smaller town Walmart. We had just spent over two hours at the beach. We're burnt to a crisp and looking tired. She is wearing some cut off jean shorts and her swimming suit, boobs smooshed flat, no make up, hair in a ponytail. I'm wearing a swimming suit, jogging shorts, and a short sleeve jean shirt and some old, ugly sandals from K-Mart. I'm 60 lbs more than I was in high school, I have zero make up on, eyes are puffy from the sun and heat, and my hair is messed up from lake water and in a bun on top of my head. We've got six kids with us ranging in age of 13 - 3 and they're running wild.

We're walking down an isle and we run into someone from high school. My friend that I was with used to have a serious crush on him. He's there looking great with his pretty wife and nice looking kids.


I don't think we could look as bad as we looked if we tried! This was just pure bad looks at it's best. You always think your safe when you're miles from home. Here's proof that you're never safe no matter where you go! We turned down the next isle and laughed so hard and just couldn't stop.

Body Worlds

Yesterday, I went to the Body Worlds exhibit at the Science Museum. It was pretty interesting for the most part but some of the body displays got a little too bizarre and it all started looking the same.

The process of plastination is really amazing. There were displays of entire humans and animals made up of only blood vessels. The real deal. There were many many organs displayed. Healthy lungs, smoker's lungs, cancerous lungs, livers, bones, arteries, ovaries, fetuses, embryos. I think the best display I saw was a pregnant woman laying on her side belly and baby exposed. Yeah, it could be considered disturbing by some but there was something beautiful about it.


I think it's worth seeing. It's something that gets a bit boring after a while (it took two hours to go through) but looking back and remembering everything is making me like it more.

What was THAT about?!

6/6/06 - The date was apparently in my sub-conscious.

Lots of lightening and thunder last night. I couldn't get my condo cooled down. I went to bed on the couch to be right under the AC. I tossed and turned until about 1 a.m. I think I woke up every hour or so - wide awake.

My dreams were scary. I was at a house, your typical suburban rambler, it was a nice sunny day. I had an object... what was it? I can't remember. I was trying to throw it away. I threw it in the garden and it came back at me. I threw it at another garden and again, it came back at me. Finally I was able to get it to stay. I went inside, sat near the window, opened the curtain and the object was sitting outside on the window sill. This was terrifying.... for obvious reasons, right?

I ran into a bedroom to tell Gabrielle and Carlos Solis (yes, from Desperate Housewives ). I told them all about what happened. We started packing things up to get out but some force in the house was pushing us back and locking the doors.

Suddenly I'm with my mom and step dad. We're all heading out to go to work. I told my mom I couldn't stay in this house alone. Also, I had to get my cats out. . Next thing I know I'm doing some kind of exorcism shit yelling at the house "In the name of God, get out! In the name of God, you are not welcome here!" I was screaming and crying as yelling this over and over. It was the kind of thing where I wonder if I was talking in my sleep.


I woke up scared to death and it's stuck with me all day. I think I need to stop watching so many scary movies.... and Desperate Housewives.

Oh you crazy neighbor you!

I come home at about 7:30 last night, come up the stairs and see Donna (drunken neighbor) passed out in the lobby. She's sitting slumped in a chair just chillin'. I go to my place to drop off my load and as I pass her place the door is wide open. Oh boy.

I go back to her, say her name a couple times and finally gently shake her and finally get a grunt out of her.

Donna: Huh.

Me: Donna, are you okay?

D: Huh (grunt)

Me: Your in the lobby and your apartment door is open. What are you doing?

D: What's this about (she still hasn't opened her eyes or raised her head)

Me: Donna, you're in the lobby. You should go back home. Your door is standing open.

D: (grunt)

Me: Are you going to just stay out here?

D: (grunt)

I walk back to my place go inside and as I'm closing the door I hear her yelling...

D: Darling! Hello? Darling!

I go to her and notice her pants are unzipped. What the hell?

D: I need you to do me a favor. I need you to close up my house.

I tell her I'll close her door for her. I go back, close the door and continue back to my place. As I turn to look down the hall here she comes stumbling along. She says she doesn't have her keys. I tell her I hope it's not locked. I try the knob, it's open and she continues into her apartment.

At least it's quite.

Soul for sale

This is what online dating is narrowed down to (IMO).

About a month ago I registered on eHarmony just out of curiosity. My stepsister met her fiance there last fall. So, I thought what the heck!

eHarmony is advertised as the place to find your "soul mate".

Instantly I wasn't impressed... what-so-ever. I can see the concept, "finding love from the inside out". But I'm not sold.

I've gotten a lot of matches but not a single one that I'm excited about. Yes, I want to love someone from "the inside out" but goodness, I have to want to look at them, right? Okay, they're not all fugly, just not attractive to me.

Then the other stupid part it answering open ended questions. This is no way to learn about someone. We can go about that all day long and it won't attract me to someone more or less. You go through this process of communication:

1. Open ended questions. You select five multiple choice questions for your match to answer then they do the same.

2. You open you profile further. Your match can now read your "Must haves and can't haves" Basically deal breakers.

3. You select three "essay" questions for your match to answer.

4. Open communication. You and your match e-mail within the site.

It's a waiting game. Will they respond? Will I get to the next level of communication? Is my soul a match for theirs? I pretty much am not feeling it.

Another thing I noticed is a lot of men want someone who is "physically active" or "enjoys working out" or "is really attractive". Really? This coming from some buttmunch sitting on a Harley wearing leather pants and a receding hairline and a double chin.


Yeah, I don't think I'm going to meet my love on the internet.

I'm lovin' this!

From Post Secret

The weekend's over

Friday I met Terri at Chuck-e-Cheese for dinner with her kids. It was so nice to see her after so many years. We caught up on some of the big events from the past 15 years and talked about some old times in high school. (sp?) No awkwardness, just fun.

I got a lot of errands done (ie. spent money I didn't have). But with the errands done I was able to cross a couple things off my "To do" list that I've had going since I moved in.

I decided to pretend I have a green thumb and cut back a houseplant I had in my bedroom. It was huge, touched the ceiling, so I cut it down, way down. It was so top heavy that it was tipping over, I had to prop it in the corner more or less. I cut the main "trunk" which means there is no more leaves on it. There are some closer to the planter. Anyway, I thought this could work, new shoots will sprout eventually. I told my mom about it (I got the plant from her when I moved in because it was too big for their house). She gasped and said "Oh Steve is going to be just sick". I freaked, Why?! Apparently it was his from oh, about 25 years ago. I told her not to tell him yet until I get some information on whether it will grow back. God, I hope so. Pray for my plant.

Okay, good news, I am online at home. It's dial-up but I haven't been able to connect since I moved here. I finally got a land line to connect about 3 weeks ago but I couldn't. I kept getting messages that my ISP couldn't connect to my modem. I tried all the troubleshooting and e-mailed my computer manufacturer for their input. Nothing worked. I finally realized that I downloaded some software for the power pack dealy thingy - it's the only thing that is different from before I moved. I uninstalled and BAM I'm on line! I was so frustrated and now I'm happy.


I also got a start on Spring cleaning. Now, I must settle in for Grey's Anatomy.

Do I celebrate or mourn?

I went to an association meeting last night. The VP comes up to me and says, "I knocked on you door last week. You missed out on all the action". What happened? "Your neighbor died". WHA?

Apparently while I was whoopin' it up in NC the neighbors were whoopin' it up. The cops were called Friday night, they were both wasted (but alive ). Saturday morning they were called back because the man died. He was only 54.

The cops are doing a thorough investigation because of the numerous calls they've had to their place and somehow a rumor started that she killed him.

Amazing the rumors people will start and what people will believe.

So, it's been quite and I've been sleeping very well. And I hate to admit it... okay, I will, I have had a bounce in my step today and I'm a little bit... dare I say, giddy! Of course, I didn't want him to die, it is actually shocking and sad news and I feel badly for the woman because I'm sure she loved him. However, I found out they weren't married and she wasn't mentioned in his obit. Hm.

It's incredible, the things you're witness to when so many different lifestyles are living under one roof (community living).

Crush

Sh-Sh... no words... just look...

I look like celebrities

I went to www.myheritage.com to see which celebrities I look like. Very entertaining.

With this picture (from 2001)

I look like:

Rachael Leigh Cook – 73%
Anne Hathaway – 73%
Rachel Bison – 70%
Elizabeth Taylor – 70%
Linda Evangelista – 68%
Sharon Stone – 67%
Halle Barry – 67%
Geri Halliwell – 64%

With this picture (2004)

I look like:

Ella Macpherson – 50%
Heather Locklear – 49%
Liza Minnelli – 48%
Oprah Winfrey – 46%
Nicollette Sheridan – 46%
Serena Williams – 46%
Sarah Ferguson – 45%

I get mistaken for Oprah all the time!

Made that call

I called my neighbor. I was shaking with adrenaline the whole time and for about five minutes after I hung up.

The call went fine, I remained "professional" and she remained stupid. I got some points across and she understood and apologized. So, we're going to try the phone calls for a bit. I told her if there is a disturbance I'll call her and told her that if that wasn't working I'd have to go on to the next level but I'd be willing to give it a try.

So, we'll see what happens. I feel better about talking to her and I can't wait to see if it helps.

Let the fun begin

I get home yesterday after work and see there is a little index card stuck under my door. It says:

Hello - my name is Donna A--- and I'm your next door neighbor in 209. I
think it's important for us to meet to discuss certain issues (in private) that
seem to be creating problems.When I moved here, I met with all my neighbors to
introduce myself and announce that if there were any problems or disturbances to
call me directly at (left phone #). This has alleviated all issues.Anytime
one calls the police, it only makes a bad situation worse. And I am tired
of them waking me up from a sound sleep to address your sound issues, when there
aren't any.I suggest we meet at the best time to discuss this matter.It
obviously needs immediate attention.Sincerely,Donna A--- Call me (phone
#)

All I can say is and I'm pretty pissed off. I haven't contacted her yet because I knew I'd be angry and sarcastic and I possibly would have stomped on her foot and kicked her shin.

I'm gathering together everything I've documented so I can show her these issues that are not existent in her drunken mind. I will stick only to the facts. I've got so many things to point out that my mind is in overload.

To top it off, last night I could here the guy just being an ass to her. Calling her names, telling her she barks but doesn't bite. "Why don't you go get the laundry you piece of shit and while your at it go talk to the neighbor. Have you talked to them yet? No? Because you're a fucking wimp. Wimpity wimp wimp!" I felt like going over there and telling him 'why don't YOU come talk to me?!' He goes on "I can't even watch TV. I'm tired of the police coming in and standing next to me while I'm watching TV." I laughed at this.

I'm not sure I have the patience to communicate with them. I'm also wondering what she means by meeting "in private".

I know my argument is rock solid, it's just keeping calm, mature, and organized.

See? I'm not exaggerating!

It was going so good. No noise out of the neighbors since the second week in December. Until last night....

Loud, loud, loud music at 11:00 pm. I called the police and hoped the neighbors didn't turn off the music by the time they got there. I wanted the police to hear the music. And they did. I got so excited!

The police knocked several times and eventually pounded on the door. No answer. The door must have been unlocked because they walked in and announced themselves, still nothing. Finally I heard them say "Hi, can you turn that down and come talk to us". The neighbor would turn it down. I heard the cops yelling at him, "Turn down the radio or you'll be going to jail". Still didn't turn it down. It took several attempts at telling him to turn it down. Wow.

Naturally, they left him with yet another warning. Told him if they had to come back he'd be getting a ticket. I say screw coming back and give his drunk ass a ticket now. They did take his name this time and obviously there will be a more detailed report on file. Also, they'll get another letter from the association and another fine.

Rosco P. Coltrane

Rosco is six today!

7-9 months old

Hiding in the sink

Last summer

One of those days

Or weeks or months...

I'm incredibly fatigued. I'm moving in a fog. I could drop at anytime to take a long nap. I have no energy. Yet by the time I get in bed I toss and turn for an hour or sometimes two. I sleep light and wake up at the slightest sounds. I feel like I have sand in my eyes.

This has been going on for a couple weeks I guess. I'm hoping it's one of those things... again. I usually do pretty well at ignoring the fatigue and just working through it but all the sleeplessness is catching up with me and I feel really run down. Not even exhausted. If I were exhausted I could fall into a deep sleep. I'm just running out of gas.... put-put-put-pbbbttttt!


On a funny note, I went to the doctor yesterday and the nurse was going over my meds I'm taking. Listed are the OTC drops and gel I use for my eyes. The brand is called "Genteal". The nurse asks, "Are you still using the Genital drops"? I start laughing and correct her but she didn't see what was so funny. Whatevah. The shit's still funny to me.

Ramblings

Last Saturday was my "new" step mom's birthday. When saying my goodbyes at the party my younger brother, Max, asked if I could cut his hair then Libby chimed in, wanted to cut a lot of hair off. We planned it for Wednesday (last night). Libby sees my dad every Wednesday for dinner so my dad invited me to eat with them since I'd be around. Great.

I cut hair last night at my "old" step mom's (5 1/2" off Libby's bringing it mid neck! - VERY CUTE!) and my dad comes to pick up Libby. I say hello, have my jacket on. My dad asks "What are you going to do?" I say, "I'm going with you." Oh, well, we're going out to eat for Jesse's b-day (my older brother) so we'll have to change the party from five people to seven." (Max was coming too). Fine, we'll meet them there. Nice. Max and I weren't invited? Once we get to the restaurant I mentioned to my dad that he had invited me to dinner last weekend. He said, "I know I forgot until I saw you." Nice.

Oh well, Libby entertained me most of the time quoting almost all of Napoleon Dynamite and feeling each other's muscles in various parts of our bodies. May I brag that I have more muscle in feel and form than my 15 year old sister who plays sports. Okay, so she won, hands down, on the stomach but she was really impressed with the form of my calve muscles.

She also entertained me by eating a mussel (something new she was going to try). It was one of the most disgusting things I've ever watched. She ended up spitting it out after something crunched. I personally wouldn't try them because I have a limit to what I will try when it comes to food. Mussels are not anywhere on that list. Libby said the experience will haunt her for a while. Me too, I think.

I'm tired of it

I'm tired of listening to my boss whisper conversations to the woman he's cheating on his girlfriend with.

I'm tired of my boss' micro-managing to the point nobody knows anything and I can't complete anything w/o his okay first.

I'm tired of not being able answer questions because of the above.

I'm tired of making copies one for my file, one for my bosses file - the files are six feet from each other.

I'm tired of not having anything to do because my boss has to do it all himself.

I'm tired of listening to loud power tools.

I'm tired of not having much interaction with anyone; of being isolated at work.I'm tired of this place.

Dating

I was listening to a morning show on the radio on the way into work and it got me thinking. They were talking to women who have been single for quite some time. One woman they talked to has been single for 10 years and can't remember the last time she went on a date. On the show these people were calling into talk to Gary Spivey who is a regular guest on the show. I don't know if I believe in what he does but some "revelations" are interesting. Besides the fact that he looks like a freak, he's entertaining.
Anyway, he was telling these woman things such as "you're in denial" or "you're angry with men" blah, blah, blah. So, it got me thinking, why haven't I dated anyone for almost 2 years? Why have I been single for 3 1/2 years?
My thoughts: I am completely terrified of feeling happy, content, and in love with anyone because it will just end in heartbreak. It always does so why would the next time be any different. My attitude is "why bother". It's a depressing attitude but yet I look to the future and I don't see myself with anyone. I've never been the type of person who needs a companion. I also didn't start thinking about getting married until I was about 28-29. When I was growing up (all the way until 28-29) I said I wasn't going to get married - marriage ends in divorce. It was all around me, marriage doesn't work, why would I even bother?
The woman who has been single for 10 years, he told her that she was still in love with a past love. She agreed that it was her daughter's father although she hasn't spoken to him in quite some time and he remarried etc. So, Gary got rid of some of her "dark energy" and "demons" and she felt "light and tingly". But it hit close to home for me. I know exactly who I'm hung up on and I know that's not healthy. I also know that I'm only in love with the person he used to be and that he is now an ex for a reason.
I go back and forth thinking it might be nice to share my life and love with someone. I have so much to give. And now that all of my friends are married and are happy and starting families, I guess they've become my role models on successful relationships and I'm warming to the idea that it all just may work.

Now I'm depressed.

Graduation ceremony

Accepting Diploma

Hugging my sister

I think I was grinning like this through the entire ceremony!

These pictures prove I need a tan, badly!