Bragging - show 'n' tell

My little sister is going to college for film.  She is given a fairly vague assignment on what to film - there are requirements and exclusions.  I am always so beyond impressed with what she comes up with.  She's incredibly gifted and amazingly imaginative.

I wanted to share some of her work.

1. Film a silent chase scene.


2.  I believe this one was to tell a complete story from beginning to end.


3. Film a location and convey an emotion, then add a voice over. (Turn up your volume or use ear buds for this one)


4. Long take - meaning it is shot beginning to end with one shot... no cutting or editing.

Feeling VERY bah-humbuggy this year

Things have changed so much since my grandpa passed away in the fall of 2005.  He was the family glue.  Without him there is no gathering for Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas is losing it's appeal.

Forever I have dreamed and anticipated Christmas Eve with my mom's side of the family (Day is reserved for my dad).  I have forever been solid in my traditions - where we go, what we eat, etc.  It's what makes Christmas.

Today I visited the cemetery, brushed off the dusting of freshly fallen snow and shed a few tears because I miss my grandma and grandpa so much.  I miss who he was and what he represented.  Is it weird I took a picture?

This year I will "host" Christmas eve and there will be a total of four of us.  Yes, it's about love and getting together with family and friends but something is missing.

I didn't decorate at all.  But I was busy making a scarf for a friend.  Turns out I was so terribly, terribly sick the night we were to exchange that I wasn't able to give it to her.

There's major clutter on my coffee table.  Nothing that a box and a closet can't handle.

I have major cleaning to do.  My vacuum cleaner doesn't work.

I have to buy the food I will be serving in 24 hours.

I'll go see a movie first... after I watch an archived episode of Bones.

Christmas will be good.  I just have to get there.

Phewy.

Love boxed up for safe keeping.

A friend of mine recently said, "I feel like you go down Memory Lane everyday".

I really had a very happy childhood.  I have far more happy memories than sad.  Although my parents separated when I was six and divorced when I was seven, I didn't have one of those "I had to grow up fast" kind of childhoods.  I suppose I learned coping skills and took on a different kind of role than the role I would have taken had my parents stayed together. (They write books on this stuff!)  I was the one (and still very much am) that tries to make everyone happy, comfortable, content, less lonely... I work hard to avoid conflict and make everything better before it can get worse.  Sometimes it's exhausting and sometimes it's effortless.

What am I getting at?  I think my mom was sad and lonely a lot after her divorce.  I don't remember it specifically but I must have sensed something because I took on this "duty" to make sure she knew she was loved very, very much.  If by nobody else, at least she was loved by me.  I remember singing "You Are So Beautiful" to her when I was about nine and she felt embarrassed, maybe unworthy of the title.  I made me sad for her so I sang it loud and clear.

This brings me to my point.  I remember , when I was nine, ten, and older, leaving her notes to find when she came home (where was she??  Perhaps out with her boyfriend at the time.)  I would miss her so much.  I left notes simply stating "To Mom - I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" in every way possible.  Decorated with stickers, markers, crayon, yarn.  On lined paper, plain paper, construction paper and a combination of all.  I even made messages from needlepoint.  You read that right.

embroidery and crayon

I know my mom loves me with every fiber of her being.

Saturday afternoon I was digging through a bin she had marked "kid stuff".  Inside were every report card, every tooth, every school project, every mother's day card, birthday card, Easter card my older brother and I made.  I choked up a little finding that she kept a small cardboard jewelry box that I had given her as a gift.  I had torn up paper into tiny little pieces and put it in the box.  My mom tells me when she opened it, I "patted my little finger in the confetti of paper and said in a soft voice, 'see?  It's soft so you can put things in it' ".

She still has all the proof of how much I (we) love her in a box.

embroidered garden

Baby Boom

Judah
Claire
Floyd
Taylor
Sloan
Whitney
Quinn

These are the babies of close friends, family and coworkers.

They were all born within 11 months of each other.

I knit what felt like a ton of blankets in a short time.

 It caused me severe baby fever.

I think I'm past the worst of it.

Vacation in the works - New York!

Exciting news.  I've been invited to go along on a trip to the Adirondacks this summer!
My dad and step mom #2 go just about every year to visit a friend.
I've never been to New York and while it's not NYC, it's still NY.  Plans are still in the works, the when and for how long.  But it's going to work out and be fairly inexpensive.  Airfare and spending money only.
This will be a very different trip than what I'm used to.  I usually go for places with a lot of sightseeing, activities, history, etc.  I'm on the go from early morning to late evening.  I want to see everything and do everything.
This trip will force me to relax (good?) and do things like hike, fish and dare I say horseback riding? (terrified of horses)
I will not be able to research this trip to death and make the plans.  I will follow someone else's itinerary.  This is a test of how I do letting go of control!  Eeep!
This will also be my first vacation with my dad since I was about nine years old.  I'm looking forward to the quality time with him.

Starting to snap out of it

After nearly four weeks of feeling down and out I am finally starting to get myself to get on with my life.

Tonight I didn't come home and sleep.  I didn't even feel the strong urge to.  I think part of it is that I didn't think of "him" for almost four hours straight.  Record!  It's so exhausting being sad and it really just isn't my thang.

I came home and immediately threw in a couple loads of laundry and grabbed a bite to eat (leftover fried rice - soooo good!).  I'll do two more loads and feel complete (no, I won't be done with laundry but what's left will fit in the hamper).

I'm taking my 4 1/2 hours of comp time tomorrow.  The Libster has to pack up and move out of her dorm/apartment.  It's already the end of her school year   I'll take her to lunch and help her pack.  I ain't moving nuthin' though.  I'm trying to talk the girl into getting a job for the summer at a movie theater so I can she can see movies for free.  I keep everyone up to date on that as I'm sure you're all on the edge of your seats.

First loads of wash are done.  I gotta get to them before some perv is sorting through my underoos.

My mom, the "copter" pilot

My mom and stepdad were in Hawaii this past Feb. for a few weeks (yeah, they got it like that).  My mom, who is terrified of heights sent me this text:

I'm going to be a helicopter pilot.
We went on one w/o doors.
Steve cried like a little girl.

She also said later texted later that if she had her "copter license" she could get somewhere faster.

Me: I don't think anyone would fly with a pilot that calls a chopper a "copter".

Momma: The one with the license can call it whatever they want.

I love my momma.

Sox

This is the email I received from my mom this afternoon:

I have 49 pairs of socks, not including those knee high black or white
trouser stockings. I think I will go get another pair to make it an
even 50. No. Wait. Maybe you want some of my old socks. Gosh, let
me know.

I'm hoping she's just going through and thinning out her clothes. Otherwise, why would one count socks?

And no, I don't want her socks.

Dad goes to the hospital for stent and Brazilians

My dad went in to get another stent put in the artery that was 70% blocked. He did really well and felt pretty good after the procedure. Apparently the doctors keep you awake during the procedure.
It took about an hour and I asked him if he could feel anything. He said not so much but twice he had them give them some drug so he could go to sleep. He said he got bored...
He also informed me that he got a Brazilian wax. His tone was that he seemed pretty impressed by it and maybe a little proud of it.

Me: What?
Dad: yeah, they did both sides because they didn't know what side they'd go in.
Me: No, that's not a Brazilian, Brazilians are all the way back. zip, up the back side.
Dad: psshh. They didn't do that. I don't want them to do that.

Thak you Jeezus he didn't request one.

Because we're twins

My little sister and I have the same birthday. We were born 19 years apart almost to the minute.

She is now going to be 19. For the past couple of years there has been talk of getting a tattoo of the Aquarius symbol. We found our design and I waited until she was ready.

We got our ink done on Saturday night. I am very pleased with how they turned out.

Peanus?

Saw my dad today. He was up walking around - amazing how far he's come!!
I ask him the usual, "how are you feeling"? "What medications are you taking". Etc... I then asked how the incision is where they entered through his groin (they go through the main artery there to get to the heart!).
Asking this question should have had a return of "it's healing well"... right?? Not from my dad:
"It's completely black. The whole area. My scrotum, my peanus, my hip all the way over to the other side. I mean really black. It's unreal".
Oh GAWD! Please don't show me. Please don't show me. Please don't show me.
I try not to look horrified. First, the idea that it is bruised that much. Second, he said scrotum. Third, he said "peanus" pronounced pee-anus. Now, was this a slip of pronunciation or was he referring to his whole nether regions, coming up with a new term?
I was done talking about it and moved on to "oh wow! Look how tiny the nitro pills are"!

Happy New Year!

I think I'll sleep tonight

My dad is home!
He's feeling good.
I'm feeling good.

I hate when my world gets all topsy turvy

My 64 year old dad had a heart attack last night. It disturbs me beyond comprehension. He is doing well today; even went for a stroll around the nurses station.
He was 100% blocked in one vessel and is 70% blocked in the other. Two stints later and less than 24 hours, he's eating vanilla pudding, sitting in a chair and joking about how he projectile vomited three times that afternoon... right at the nurse. (In his defense he warned them it was a-comin') Way to go, dad.
Medicine is a wonder.
The reality is that my parents are aging. The reality is that I don't think that 64 is that old. It kept me awake all night and made me anxious all day. What if... what if... what if...
One thing, I wish those hospital gowns closed in the back. Forever I will have the vision of my dad's nekkid bum.

Welcome Baby Ella

My step sister had her first child about seven weeks ago. She had a really rough pregnancy. Lots of sickness, early labor, bed rest, the whole sha-bang.

This is how it started(email sent by stepdad):

new grandchild last night, all of 4lbs 16oz's. both are doing fine. the baby's heart rate was getting low this past week, so they decided to do ahead with a cesarian. ella had a little trouble breathing at first, but last word was everything is ok now.

Then this (stepdad again):

I just talked to Carmen and both are doing fine. Ella has eaten twice so far but Carmen did not get to feed her. She has held her once. Ella is in an incubator until she is stable which might be by this afternoon. Carmen is really tired and can't believe how much better she feels now that she is not pregnant!

Then my mom sent me this:

A funny thing. Last night, while very doped up, she said she hadn't really seen her since she was cleaned up, so Glen kept showing her cell phone pictures.
Today, she said that Glen would be sitting talking to Carmen and then get up and say... well, I think I'm going to go hang out with Ella.

Now, everything is going well except Ella's days and nights are mixed up and Carmen is completely exhausted.

This is the lil' stinker causing all the fuss
.

Music Video

My sister is going to a college for the arts. She's a freshmen. She has a Media class once a week for five hours. She started out with some assignments taking digital pictures which she liked okay. This most recent assignment was to make a music video using any song but it had to be between a certain time length. She had three ideas right off the bat. She went with the one you see below and she had a blast working on it. She worked hard and I'm super proud of her!

Date with my dad

Looking forward to going to the Orchestra with my dad!

Minnesota Orchestra
Osmo Vänskä, conductor
Stephen Hough, piano

PROKOFIEV
Lieutenant Kijé Suite
19'

TCHAIKOVSKY
Concert Fantasia
26'

TCHAIKOVSKY
Selections from Sleeping Beauty
40'

Stephen Hough returns to Orchestra Hall to start our season with a rare beauty. He and the Orchestra are recording all four of Tchaikovsky's piano-and-orchestra works live in concert, and this week it's the Concert Fantasia, full of heartbreakingly beautiful melodies. Come be a part of history as it's captured in Orchestra Hall.

The college girl

My sister moved onto campus this weekend. This is her first time on her own, in her own apartment. She's living with someone she'd never met. She's on campus with a ton of other students, away from the comforts of her home of 18 1/2 years (although, only a 20 minute drive away).

I spend several hours with her on Friday night, her first night. She was anxious but she was strong. It was the first glimpse of vulnerability I saw from this girl since she was eight. She often times went from laughing to a look of panic. Everything was too new and happening so fast. She brought her baby blanket, put it on a shelf in her closet and said, "Just in case".

But she's excited.

Sitting on the floor of her new bedroom, windows open with the laughter and conversation of distant students in the building next door, I looked at my sister while we played games of Slap Jack and War. I physically felt the realization that this little girl, is my adult sister. She has her own place, fulfilling her goals of going to school, learning so, so much.

I felt proud of her. I felt a new love for her. I hoped I would still like the adult sister. I hoped the adult sister would still like me.

Remembering

It was two years ago today that the 35W bridge collapse.
Without planning it and not realizing it until I approached it, I crossed the bridge this afternoon.
I was coming home from stopping at the cemetary where my grandma and grandpa are buried. This too was an unplanned visit. This is the first visit outside of Memorial Day weekend when my mom, uncle and I tend to the sites, planting the urn, etc. It's peaceful there as I lay on the grass and look at the sky and just remember.
When I'm there I realize a part of me is missing.

The world traveler returns

My sister has gotten to travel this year with her senior Art class to Paris and Barcelona and then with her Japanese class to Japan.
On Monday she came home from two weeks in Japan. She had a blast! She showed pictures and the video she took. I loved the video of her learning a tea ceremony taught to her by her host family. Her host mother and father had a great sense of humor and showed her many things. Her "host girl" (17) spoke great english. Her host boy (13)and the grandmother didn't speak english.

This is an e-mail she was able to send after only being there a week.

Konnichiwa, I am writing from the land of the rising sun.
Japan (nihon) is very, very different. It is not rude to slurp your food, and you have to take a shower before you take a bath (ofurou). Everything is opposite, even for their blind people. Our blind people use their hands to see things. Apparently Japan's blind people use their feet because everywhere you go there are ridges and bumps on the walkways so blind people know where to walk and stop. Not a bad idea acutally. Some of the weird and interesting things I have done so far include: Being smushed into a subway car during rush hour. Playing a DJ game in an arcade. Wearing a yukata and setting off fireworks (hanabi). And making apple (ringo) rabbits (usagi). I went to the yokkozuno zoo yesterday. My host girl Yuu said it was very small (chisai), but turned out to be very large (ooki). Today we went to Universal Studios Japan, which was super fun (tanoshii). My host girl is Yuu, who is super freaking cute (kawaii), her whole room is pink, and she screamed bloody murder on every ride we went on.
Thats all I have for now, so unless I can get on another computer some other time then I'll talk to you later (jaane).
Libby

She said her host family cried when she had to leave. Awww!

Dad was in a sentimental mood

The other day I posted the toast my dad gave my sister at her graduation party. Later, as I was saying good-bye to him he puts his arm around me and started saying things like:

You are the best big sister. Really. Libby is really lucky.
and...
Since you were nineteen when she was born, you’ve kind of helped raise her. You did a great job.
and...
She really loves being with you. She loves you a lot. I love you very much.
and...
You truly are very special to me; you're my little girl.

There was a mild panic building in me. Oh god dad, don't cry. Don't cry.

My dad and I have grown closer over the past 10 years or so. Before that I was extremely intimidated by him. In recent years he has had these "episodes" where he tells me how much he loves me, my dad is still learning, at 64, to express his feelings to those he loves. For me, at 37, it's good to hear.