Love boxed up for safe keeping.

A friend of mine recently said, "I feel like you go down Memory Lane everyday".

I really had a very happy childhood.  I have far more happy memories than sad.  Although my parents separated when I was six and divorced when I was seven, I didn't have one of those "I had to grow up fast" kind of childhoods.  I suppose I learned coping skills and took on a different kind of role than the role I would have taken had my parents stayed together. (They write books on this stuff!)  I was the one (and still very much am) that tries to make everyone happy, comfortable, content, less lonely... I work hard to avoid conflict and make everything better before it can get worse.  Sometimes it's exhausting and sometimes it's effortless.

What am I getting at?  I think my mom was sad and lonely a lot after her divorce.  I don't remember it specifically but I must have sensed something because I took on this "duty" to make sure she knew she was loved very, very much.  If by nobody else, at least she was loved by me.  I remember singing "You Are So Beautiful" to her when I was about nine and she felt embarrassed, maybe unworthy of the title.  I made me sad for her so I sang it loud and clear.

This brings me to my point.  I remember , when I was nine, ten, and older, leaving her notes to find when she came home (where was she??  Perhaps out with her boyfriend at the time.)  I would miss her so much.  I left notes simply stating "To Mom - I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" in every way possible.  Decorated with stickers, markers, crayon, yarn.  On lined paper, plain paper, construction paper and a combination of all.  I even made messages from needlepoint.  You read that right.

embroidery and crayon

I know my mom loves me with every fiber of her being.

Saturday afternoon I was digging through a bin she had marked "kid stuff".  Inside were every report card, every tooth, every school project, every mother's day card, birthday card, Easter card my older brother and I made.  I choked up a little finding that she kept a small cardboard jewelry box that I had given her as a gift.  I had torn up paper into tiny little pieces and put it in the box.  My mom tells me when she opened it, I "patted my little finger in the confetti of paper and said in a soft voice, 'see?  It's soft so you can put things in it' ".

She still has all the proof of how much I (we) love her in a box.

embroidered garden

I don't wear "mackup".

Saturday evening I met my friend and her two girls (my goddaughters) at Perkins (where kids eat free on Saturday nights!)

As soon as I sat down Anna (8) says to nobody in particular: There's something that looks different about Auntie Laura.

Me: I'm not wearing any makeup.

Anna: Oh.  You look really different.

Me:  I suppose it's because you've really only seen me with makeup on.

Anna sits looking at me trying to figure out how someone could look so different.

She asks if I have a pen, she asks her mom for a piece of paper.

Me: What are you going to write?

Anna:  It's a surprise.

Without me realizing, she slips the note in front of me.

The only response I could come up with was: I don't wear "mackup".

Road kill

I am very sensitive to animals.  I'm pretty sure they can talk (thanks to Disney), they have families and they are just trying to survive and provide.

I hate when I kill one with my vehicle.

First it was a raccoon... back in '90.  I was late getting home (curfew you know) and speeding my way east on 494, only a couple other cars on the road at 1 a.m. ( I was going to be soooo late!).  Suddenly, this fat raccoon starts waddling across the freeway.  Seriously?  Who does that?

No time to break.  BAM!  Tagged the sucker.  Thumpa-thump.  I run over him going 60 mph.  I look at the rear view mirror and he's still bouncing from the impact.  Jeez.

Flash forward about 20 years.  I'm running late for work one morning (yes, I tend to run on the late side of things).  Stupid squirrel!  It darts out, runs back, freezes, darts out again.  BAM!  Hit him going 30 mph on a side road.  The rear view mirror reveals a spastically twitching tail.  Ugh.

Now today, the cruise set at 72 mph, PING!  A flippin' bird, enjoying his morning flight, dippin' and swayin', wind in his feathers... tags the frame on the side of the windshield (thankfully no blood, no feathers).  Looking in the rear view mirror, the collision gave him another five feet of air but sadly he crashed.  Oh-no.

Thankfully I'm not partial to insects because I'd be a mess driving with all the bug juice on the windshield.

Know when to walk away, know when to run

I'm not a gambler.
Repeat that 10 x and that's about how much I'm a gambler.

So, when the idea came up that "we should go to the casino for an hour just to waste some time", my first instinct was to clutch my purse tight to my chest.

I don't get excited to go to casinos... they take my money... I'm not a winner.

But I went, they serve free pop.

We went straight for the penny slots cause we're hard core like that.

I put a dollar in.  Didn't win.

I put another dollar in.  Didn't win.

I put a third dollar in.  This is stupid!  I'm just feeding these things dollar bills.  I quit!

I take a break, walk away.  This is intense stuff.

I say, fine, I'll put another dollar in.  I push a button.  Dang!  I just bet $.75 of my dollar!  Oh, wait, cool, I got five free spins.  Interesting, I'm winning my dollar back... two dollars... six dollars.  Great, I won my money back!

It keeps going.

$10.40

$22.00

$48.20

OH MY!

$81.50

$125.30

$167.00

HOLY!  I think I may have won a million dollars!!

$199.95

$215.20

$224.50


Holy mother of....

I cashed out and clutched my purse tight to my chest and got myself a Pepsi.

Spreading the love

Stepmom #1 is an unbelievable knitter and sewer (seamstress?).  I have spent the days since I was eight years old watching her knit numerous items.  Being such a shy child (painfully shy) I would slowly shake my head 'no' when she would ask me, "do you want to learn to knit?"  Inside I was saying, "yes, oh yes, yes, yes!  Just show me because I can't say it!".

Twenty-five years later I learned how to cast on my first project from a stranger during a lunch "class" at work.

I have since then expanded my knowledge of stitches and my inventory of knitting accessories with much help and thanks to my stepmom.

While I have found myself to be a mostly Fall through early Spring knitter, she knits year round.

She now has and Etsy shop I'd like to share; you know, spread the love.

T Crockett Crafts

Taylor aka Baby Boo aka Chunka

Important decisions made regarding my trip to D.C. in August

• I have decided, although very self-conscience, I will wear sleeveless tops when I am in D.C.
• I have decided, although my gut sticks out further than my butt, I will pack my swimming suit because it's going to be hotter than a mo' fo and a dip in the hotel's pool at the end of the day will be delightful.
• I have decided that wearing sleeveless is an okay thing to do.
• I have decided that I am making myself miserable while trying to hide my body parts behind too much clothing.
• I have decided there really is no hiding an ample bosom, my obvious beginnings of a fupa, and wing-like upper arms.  Today's styles just don't support these bodily issues.
• I have decided that there is a fraction of a whole number of people who give a rats patootie what my Buddha belly look like.
• I have decided there is an even smaller number of people who give darn tootin' what my arms look like.