I have an old, old friend (our friendship is old, she isn't) that I keep in touch with through almost daily e-mails. Usually their mundane and immature. This is one we did a few days ago. We were discussing the issues of the penal system and what our take on the solution. Very informative, very intriguing, very knowledgeable we are. The e-mail starts when I ask what a person she knows/used to know is going to school for... in prison... on his third time serving five years for burglary:
DB: Ok,,,he is gonna go to school to be a computer technician. And is taking classes now for cable technician.
Me: I have such a huge, huge, huge issue with people serving time getting education. I know they need to do it so they can find something else to do other than the crimes that put them there but I just get so worked up about how the system works that way. I think they should be shoveling cow manure out of a truck for eight hours a day or something. Okay, and really? A cable technician. Yeah, Mr. Burglar, come into my house scope it out while you fix my cable. Oh, I could go on for days about that putz!
DB: LOL! You had me crackin up here at the desk,,,snortin even! LOL! I know! What cable company in their right mind would hire a 3 time felony burglar ??????????????????// ummm....can we say "DENIAL"?!!!!!
I think that prisons should be all manual labor! Screw the humane treatment acts & laws! Otherwise its like free room & board AND a paid job! So what he gets only .25 cents/hour,,,I should be getting that $ !!!!
Me: Yeah, the tax payers pay for their shelter, three square meals a day, entertainment even and they're getting paid so they can buy Tootsie Rolls and toothpaste. AND they are given medical and dental treatment, right? They should have to shave their heads too. Forget humane. Heck yeah, hard manual labor. Get them back on the chain gang! Shoo.
DB: I think they still have the chain gangs down south,,,,thats what I'm talkin about!
Me: I read that they have them in a couple of states south but the human rights activists are making a stink and they had to stop. What's next? They're all going to have Sleep Number beds in their cells? Maybe a Brita filter on their sink faucet? Charmin toilet paper? Downy fabric softener?
DB: Egyptian cotton sheets? Evian bottled water? Grey Poupon?
Me: Grey Poupon - love it! Biscuits and tea at four? Shiatsu massages and deep cleansing facials? Footie pajamas?
DB: How about an olympic sized swimming pool? wekly manicures & pedicures? Live concerts by the most popular artists?
After that I couldn’t do it anymore. It got too stupid (even for me) and I can only handle so many grammatical errors and punctuation faux pas – even within a friendly e-mail. This was overload.
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