Procrastination with a capital 'P'

 

 The "easy" part was puting the acutal sink in.  I replaced the drain as well.  After the drain was installed I realized I couldn't get the old faucet off so I bought another.  Come to find out it included a drain piece as well.  Too late.  Oh well.  I replaced the valve hoses - another easy step.

When I go to turn the water valves back on the hot leaks - drip.. drip... drip... dripdripdripdrip...  What else leaks?  The p joint.  I take it off, put more tape on, put it on, tighten it to an inch of it's life.  Turn on the water (cold of course) and it leaks.  I repeat the above steps several times.  I'm not giving up on this bad boy.

I'm cramped up under the sink and I'm tired of the smell of pipes and the things that are in pipes.

Long story short, I put off calling someone because I CAN DO THIS!  After a month... yes, you read right (but it gets better so hold on) I give it another go.  Good grief.  How hard can this be?  I finally do a thoughrough inspection and see that the rubber washer are dried up and peterfied.  The crumble as I pry them out.  Ahhh, now we're getting somewhere.  I spend the $1.18 at the hardware store to replace the washers and  AHHHHH (heavenly music plays from above) no leaks!   I don't trust it so I leave the bucket underneath the sink and obsessively check it for the next month (yes, your addition is correct.  We are at two months now and the hot water valve is still kaput).

At this point, who cares when the hot water valve is fixed.  So I give it another go but still nothing.  That thing is set on leaking. Stubborn.

Let's speed up to last Thursday when I finally make "that" call.  It's the call that says, "I'm no flippin' plumber and I better quit actin' like one."

I have hot water pouring from my bathroom sink faucet... four months later.  I hardly know what to do with myself.

In with the new, out with the old... In that order

 A couple of months ago I bought a dresser from Ikea that I've had my eye on for a while.  I've had my old dresser all my life and it was my mom's growing up.  With her permission I replaced it and gave it away.  It stood empty beside my new dresser for over a month before I found it a home.  It was kind of sad in a weird way, seeing it go... but I'm over it now.  I'm glad it found a home with a friend.

If you've never put together something from Ikea it can seem overwhelming at first because there are no written instructions, only pictures.  Surprisingly it's actually easier than something that says, "put bolt A-1 into piece G-5 and attach to back of board 9 wrong side down on your head while chanting "righty-tighty, lefty-loosey".

It really isn't a difficult task but I have a "helper" that I have to deal with the entire time.  Whether it's keeping him from laying on the instructions, batting around the screws or getting into the packaging (he likes to eat packing tape then puke it up in the middle of the night) it seems to take longer than necessary.  Of course sometimes there's belly rub breaks (him - not me).

I love my new dresser.  It goes so much better with my decor and it warms the room up a bit.  Now I need some accessories to place on top.  Heavy ones that can't be knocked off by the critters living with me.  Like a decorative anvil.

The Adirondacks - Upstate New York

I've been back form my trip to the Adirondacks for a week now.

It wasn't one of my usual trips.  It was much slower paced but we still did a lot and saw a lot.  It was hot and muggy and I think I only peed twice a day because of how much I was sweating.

The first night there we rode into town on a buggy.  I'm not sure how fun it was because I was so concerned with the horses (Harley) ability to take us down the hills.  It's a lot of work for the lil' buggers.

The first night I was introduced to Stewarts ice cream and I became a mild addict.  The little stores sell them by the cone and they're everywhere!  There was no going wrong with all the flavors.  I had plenty of Adirondack Bear Paw, Death by Chocolate and Chocolate Raspberry Ripple

We went on a couple small hikes that were in the "backyard".  Both lead to pretty great views.

One day we met up with my brother's ex whom we were all pretty close to.  I loved seeing her and it just reminded me how much I love her and miss her.  She's doing really well and I'm really happy for her.

My dad and I went to tour Fort Ticonderoga which I'm embarrassed to say I knew nothing about but was a huge part of US history.  I loved going there and having my dad to myself.  We ate at the Hot Biscuit Diner on the way home and he had a "pretty good" hamburger for only the second time since his heart attack in December... he followed that up with another hamburger three days later.

One evening we enjoyed strolling through the Essex County Fair.  Very small.  Great people watching.  Limited food selection but the there is a riding lawn mower pulling competition.

There was some trick the the leaning that made them go a little further.

We climbed to the top of Mount Jo one day.  I was quite a hike and the view was incredible.  As was the view from the top of Whiteface Mountain (missing the $18/ea gondola ride to the top we paid $22 for all of us to drive to the top and take an elevator up to the summit that is inside the mountain).  I couldn't stop looking at the view of Lake Placid.

Zelda's a mountain climber too.  12 yrs old and practically ran up the whole thing!

My dad bestowed unto me his 40 year old bandanna

And in the end, I got on a horse and rode it bareback around the pen thingy (I believe that is the correct term but don't quote me).  I have been terrified of horses since I was about nine.  Although I'm hating that I look like a blob of fat sitting on a horse, I was quite impressed with myself for doing it and not crapping my pants in the process.

My dad entertained himself while I rode.  He may or may not be singing.

On the way to the airport home we stopped and had lunch at Betty Beaver's Truck Stop and when I got home I reactivated my gym membership.

20 years in the making

Yesterday I RSVPd to go to my 20 year high school reunion.
There will be a dinner and a DJ.  It's nearby and the tickets are cheap - so what the heck!
I'm not looking forward to seeing an ex but it is what it is.
So, I have two months to lift my arse and firm my gut.

Smashing pumpkins on my face

I did some of research on pumpkin and acne scars.  Turns out it's full of enzymes that when put on the skin had a similar reaction of an acid peel.

This is the scarring I've been self conscious of for about 15 years.  Hopefully I can post a picture in a few month? that shows some difference!

Pumpkin makes an excellent face mask ingredient for all skin types, especially environmentally damaged or sensitive skin. High in Vitamin A (skin healing), C (anti-oxidant) and Zinc, the pumpkin soothes, moisturizes and acts as a carrier, assisting the other mask ingredients to absorb deeper into the skin and intensifying the results.

So I gave it a try.  Mixed a little honey and milk in it.

I slopped it on and left it for 15 minutes.

It didn't smell good.  It felt very wet.  There was a slight tingling/itchy feel along the jaw line but nothing uncomfortable.

After rinsing it off my skin was very soft and smooth.  My complexion looked bright and even.  I couldn't find anything that said how often I should do this but I'm shooting for once a week.

Trying to let go and let it be

I have my trip for this year planned - going to the Adirondacks.  Well, I can't completely say I have it planned.

I am going on vacation with no idea of what to expect.  I have done little research of the area.  I don't know what there is to do.  I don't know what to expect.

I'm actually okay with this.

Those who know me know I research the hell out of a trip.  I find all there is to do, how much it costs, what day we will go to what places and even the time of day we will go.

Yeah, obsessive.  But I see all I want to see, do and eat.  It's never hectic and I enjoy every minute of it.

This time I bought my ticket and this was the only decision I had to make.  My vacation is in others' hands.

This will also be my first vacation with my dad since I was about 10 years old when we would go camping for a week at a time in Northern Minnesota.  This is my first vacation with step mom #2.  I will be flying and they and my sister will be driving.  This is my first vacation with my sister.

I'm in love with Eat, Pray, Love

Antoher exerpt I love from Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert

Chapter 48

     The next morning's meditation is a disaster. Desperate, I beg my mind to please step aside and let me find God, but my mind stares at me with steely power and says, "I will never let you pass me by."
     That whole next day, in fact, I'm so hateful and angry that I fear for the life of anyone who crosses my path. I snap at this poor German woman because she doesn't speak English well and she can't understand when I tell her where the bookstore is. I'm so ashamed of my rage that I go hide in (yet another!) bathroom and cry, and then I'm so mad at myself for crying as I remember my Guru's counsel not to fall apart all the time or else it becomes a habit... but what does she know about it? She's enlightened. She can't help me. She doesn't understand me.
     I don't want anyone to talk to me. I can't tolerate anyones face right now. I even manage to dodge Richard from Texas for a while, but e eventually finds me at dinner and sits down - brave man - in my black smoke of self-loathing.
     "What's got you all wadded up?" he drawls, toothpick in mouth, as usual.
     "Don't ask," I say, but then I start talking and tell him every bit of it, concluding with, "And worst of all, I can't stop obsessing over David. i thought I was over him, but it's all coming up again."
     He says, "Give it another six months, you'll feel better."
     "I've already given it twelve months, Richard."
     "Then give it six more. Just keep throwin' six months at it til it goes away. Stuff like this takes time."
     I exhale hotly through the nose, bull-like.
     "Groceries," Richard says, "listen to me. Someday you're gonna look back on the moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. you'll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing and you were in the best possible place in the world for it - in a beautiful place of worship, surrounded by grace. take this time, every minute of it. Let things work themselves out here in India."
     "But I really loved him."
     "Big deal. So you fell in love with someone. Don't you see what happened? this guy touched a place in your heart deeper than you thought you were capable of reaching, I mean you got zapped, kiddo. But that love you felt, that's just the beginning. you just got a taste of love. That's just limited little rinky-dink mortal love. Wait till you see how much more deeply you can love than that. Heck, Groceries - you have the capacity to someday love the whole world. It's your destiny. Don't laugh."
     "I'm not laughing." I was actually crying. "And please don't laugh at me now, but I think the reason it's so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed David was my soul mate."
     "He probably was. your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can't let this one go. It's over, Groceries. David's purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart you ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform you life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it's over. Problem is, you can't accept that this relationship had a real short shelf life. You're like a dog at the dump, baby - you're just lickin' at an empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it An if you're not careful that can's gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it."
     "But I love him."
     "So love him."
     "But I miss him."
     "So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, and then drop it. You're just afraid to let go of the last bits of David because then you'll really be alone, and Liz Gilbert is scared to death of what will happen if she's really alone. But here's what you gotta understand, Groceries. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you're using right now to obsess about this guy, you'll have a vacuum there, an open spot - a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in - God will rush in - and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using David to block that door. Let it go."
     "But I wish me and David could - "
     He cuts me off. "See, now that's your problem. You're wishin' too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be."
     This line gives me the first laugh of the day.
     Then I ask Richard, "So how long will it be before all this grieving passes?"
     "You want an exact date?"
     "Yes."
     "Somethin' you can circle on your calender?"
     "Yes."
     "Lemme tell you something, Groceries - you got some serious control issues."
     My rage at this statement consumes me like fire. Control issues? ME? I actually consider slapping Richard for this insult. An then, from right down inside the intensity of my offended outrage comes the truth. The immediate, obvious, laughable truth.
     He's totally right.
     The fire passes out of me, fast as it came.
     "You're totally right," I say.
     "I know I'm right, baby. Listen, you're a powerful woman and you're used to getting what you want out of life, and you didn't get what you wanted in your last few relationships and it's got you all jammed up. Your husband didn't behave the way you wanted him to and David didn't either. Life didn't go your way for once. And nothing pissed off a control freak more than life not going her way."
     "Don't call me a control freak, please."
     "You have got control issues, Groceries. Come on. Nobody ever told you this before?"
     (Well... yeah. But the thing about divorcing someone is that you kind of stop listening to all the mean stuff they say about you after a while.)
     So I buck up and admit it. "OK, I think you're probably right. Maybe I do have a problem with control. it's just weird that you noticed. Because I don't think it's that obvious on the surface. I mean - I bet most people can't see my control issues when they first look at me."
     Richard from Texas laughs so hard he almost loses his toothpick.
     "They can't? Honey - Ray Charles could see your control issues!"
     "OK, I think I'm done with this conversation now, thank you."
     "You gotta learn how to let go, Groceries. Otherwise you're gonna make yourself sick. Never gonna have a good night's sleep again. You'll just toss and turn forever, beatin' on yourself for being such a fiasco in life. What's wrong with me? How come I screw up all my relationships? Why am I such a failure? Lemme guess - that's probably what you were up at all hours doin' to yourself again last night."
     "All right, Richard, that's enough," I say. "I don't want you walking around in my head anymore."
     "Shut the door, then." says my big Texas Yogi.