I'll spill a little because I just need to get a little out

I've pretty much kept to myself over this "breakup".  Mainly because I'm surprised at myself for falling for him, for not expressing my feelings before he left, for missing him, and yes, for crying.  It's a little humiliating, a little pathetic.  I wasn't looking for this and now I want it and it's gone.
It's only been three weeks but it's been the longest three weeks I've lived through in a long, long time.  I think about him all day and fight the urge to contact him.  I did once, a couple of weeks ago, the ball is in his court.  He's not throwing back.
I get home from work and sleep so I don't have to think.  Plus I'm exhausted from all the thinking.  I go workout then I come home and sleep some more but never before midnight.
I put on a happy face and go on with my usual activities but I know I'm a little withdrawn.  I don't look for advice; I don't want advice. I know what to do but staring into space and wallowing in self-pity is sometimes a better alternative in my eyes... my red, puffy eyes.
This past week has been a little better but I don't get over these feelings quickly - I feel deeply.  I can't be friends because I want more.  I understand that sometimes the feelings are only one sided.  Some relationships just don't work and you can't make them.  I hate all that.
I suppose one good thing is that whole part of going to the gym a lot.