You got an eye problem?

Prepare yourself for the ultimate pity party:

My eyes are bringin' me down. A year after I was diagnosed with Graves' Disease I developed TED (Thyroid Eye Disease). My eye lids are puffy, my lid retract, there's some slight bulging of the eyeball, they're dry (because of the retracting), the rest of my face is puffy. Basically, I feel really, really ugly. Mostly from the profile. It makes me paranoid. I feel like others will see it as ugly. My friends and family say it's not that noticeable. It's noticeable enough. I hate getting my picture taken. About 1% of all pictures taken of me look decent.

I have to wait until this disease runs it's course - that's what the eye doctors tell me. Once it's done doing whatever the hell it does, it may go back to normal or I can opt to have surgery to correct the puffiness (fluid gathers behind the eye and collects in the fatty tissue).

So, I'm having one of my many feeling ugly days due to my ugly eyes. I'm suppose to be "patient" but I'm obsessed with it. It's been 3 1/2 years - supposedly it can take up to five years to run it's course.

I want it to go away! I want it to go away! I want it to go away!