Bah Humbug rant

I love Christmas, don't get me wrong, but there are some serious dip shits that come out of the wood work this time of year.

Yeah, the malls are busier and it's next to impossible to get anywhere because of all the traffic. But when you add all the people who don't normally leave their houses to the road, it causes more problems. They don't know how to merge, signal or accelerate. They don't know how to park or just move out of the (my) way.

The temporary sales people (or maybe they're permanent and just stupid) aren't helping with anything. C'mon! There is no reason it should take 3 minutes to ring up a pair of slippers for that lady while there is a line of 12 people staring at you!

It's the Christmas season and Bed, Bath and Body doesn't have jack on sale except the Yankee Candle scent of the month.

I want to scream and shriek "MY NOSE! IT'S BURING!!!" every time I go into Michael's and have to pass within 50 feet of those damn cinnamon scented pine cones.

How can there be absolutely no, none, nada, zilch silver switch plates left at Menards? And what is that funky smell when you walk in the door????


Ahhh, Christmas. The most wonderful time of the year!

Free to be me

Be yourself. Who? Me? Who am I? I wear so many hats. I'm sweet yet I am such a bitch. I care so deeply and yet I couldn't care less. I'm funny but hey, this is serious stuff now. What did you say?! You've made me blush… say it again. I'm intelligent but goodness, what a ditz. Did I really just say or do that? I'm 30-something. No, 12 or 15. Wait, I'm four. Maybe I'm 20 again. Oh well, that's life; screw it. I am who I am. I'm all of the above.

There's nothing funny in Hinckley

I talked to my friend on Tuesday of last week. She was feeling pretty down. Recently, she's come on some hard times. She moved herself and her four kids an hour and a half from the city to live with her mom in a small town. This will be temporary until she gets some finances straight as well as her head. It hasn't been a happy time for her.


As of last Tuesday she had been there for two weeks. After laughing to her on the phone she said, "I haven't laughed for so long. There's nothing to laugh at here."

After hanging up I decided to take Friday off and drive up there for a surprise visit. I talked to her a couple more times to make sure she'd be around ("So, what do you and the kids have planned for Friday?")

I knew she had to be at the house between 10 and 11:30. I left at 10:20 for the hour and 20 minute drive. As I got closer and saw signs saying "Hinckley 42 miles... Hinckley 8 miles... Hinckley next two exits..." I was so excited. I exited with cell phone in hand waiting for the right time to press "send". At a stop sign I called "what are you doing" and so on. She set it up perfectly, "I suppose you're on your way to lunch?"

Me: Yeah, I was going to go to Hinckley for lunch.

D: Oh yeah! (laughing)

Me: Good, I'm two blocks away.

D: What? No! You are?

Me: Yep!

D: Ohhh! I'll meet you on the driveway!

I pull in, she comes out smiling and we hug and it's all good.We laughed all day.


Hinckley is a funny place.

Where's my bazooka?

Why can't this world be only me and the select few that I choose to live in it with me?

I can't stand ignorant people who are allowed to work in with the public. Some people shouldn't be allowed to answer phones, make calls or breathe in general.

Why can't everyone be perfect, like me?

For Good

Wicked song of the day (this one is stuck in my head)

ELPHABA

You’re the only friend I’ve ever had.

GLINDA

And I’ve had so many friends. But only one-- that mattered.(sings)

I’VE HEARD IT SAID

THAT PEOPLE COME INTO OUR LIVES FOR A REASON

BRINGING SOMETHING WE MUST LEARN

AND WE ARE LED

TO THOSE WHO HELP US MOST TO GROW

IF WE LET THEM

AND WE HELP THEM IN RETURN

WELL, I DON’T KNOW IF I BELIEVE THAT’S TRUE

BUT I KNOW I’M WHO I AM TODAY

BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...
LIKE A COMET PULLED FROM ORBIT

AS IT PASSES A SUN
LIKE A STREAM THAT MEETS A BOULDER

HALFWAY THROUGH THE WOOD

WHO CAN SAY IF I’VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?

BUT BECAUSE I KNEW YOU

I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD …

ELPHABA

IT WELL MAY BE

THAT WE WILL NEVER MEET AGAIN IN THIS LIFETIME

SO LET ME SAY BEFORE WE PART

SO MUCH OF ME

IS MADE OF WHAT I LEARNED FROM YOU

YOU’LL BE WITH MELIKE A HANDPRINT ON MY HEART

AND NOW WHATEVER WAY OUR STORIES END

I KNOW YOU HAVE RE-WRITTEN MINE

BY BEING MY FRIEND...
LIKE A SHIP BLOWN FROM ITS MOORING

BY A WIND OFF THE SEA

LIKE A SEED DROPPED BY A SKYBIRD

IN A DISTANT WOOD

WHO CAN SAY IF I’VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?

BUT BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...

GLINDA

BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...

BOTH

BECAUSE I KNEW YOU

I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD...

ELPHABA

AND JUST TO CLEAR THE AIR

I ASK FORGIVENESS

FOR THE THINGS I’VE DONE YOU BLAME ME FOR

GLINDA

BUT THEN, I GUESS WE KNOW

THERE’S BLAME TO SHARE

BOTH

AND NONE OF IT SEEMS TO MATTER ANYMORE

[They sing simultaneously]

GLINDA
LIKE A COMET PULLED FROM ORBIT

AS IT PASSES A SUN

LIKE A STREAM THAT MEETS A BOULDER

HALF-WAY THROUGH THE WOOD

ELPHABA
LIKE A SHIP BLOWN OFF ITS MOORING

BY A WIND OFF THE SEA

LIKE A SEED DROPPED BY A

BIRD IN

THE WOOD

BOTH

WHO CAN SAY IF I’VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?

I DO BELIEVE I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER

GLINDA

AND BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...

ELPHABA

BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...

BOTH

BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...

I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD.

Wicked!

That's right. The time is finally here. I'm going to see Wicked.

I went last June in Chicago and have been obsessed every since. I've had these tickets since November and I can't believe the day finally here!

I just hope it's as good as I remember and I hope that the people I'm going with love it as much as I want them too. I've been really trying to pump them up. They haven't been jumping up and down when I talk about them. I, however, bounce off the walls when I talk about it! :)

True embarrassment

My friend and I were 90 miles from home in a smaller town Walmart. We had just spent over two hours at the beach. We're burnt to a crisp and looking tired. She is wearing some cut off jean shorts and her swimming suit, boobs smooshed flat, no make up, hair in a ponytail. I'm wearing a swimming suit, jogging shorts, and a short sleeve jean shirt and some old, ugly sandals from K-Mart. I'm 60 lbs more than I was in high school, I have zero make up on, eyes are puffy from the sun and heat, and my hair is messed up from lake water and in a bun on top of my head. We've got six kids with us ranging in age of 13 - 3 and they're running wild.

We're walking down an isle and we run into someone from high school. My friend that I was with used to have a serious crush on him. He's there looking great with his pretty wife and nice looking kids.


I don't think we could look as bad as we looked if we tried! This was just pure bad looks at it's best. You always think your safe when you're miles from home. Here's proof that you're never safe no matter where you go! We turned down the next isle and laughed so hard and just couldn't stop.