Cute little girls

This is my goddaughter on her first birthday this past August (I forgot to post the pics). She couldn't look at the camera because Blues Clues was on TV.




Meanwhile, her sister and I took some pictures together.

This was the next day during her birthday party. I gave her a little dolly which, as you can tell, she wasn't fond of it.

Christmas Eve

Staring down Elmo

Growing up I always had Christmas Eve with my mom's side of the family. For many, many years my mom hosted. I loved Christmas Eve! In 2000 my mom moved about 1 1/2 hours away so the family started taking turns hosting since most of us lived within 30 minutes of each other. I had it for three years in a row and this year my stepsister and her husband had it. I really don't mind hosting but I'm so obsessive that I find it really hard to relax when I'm in charge of it all. Needless to say, this was great and I didn't mind the hour drive to get there.

7 1/2 months old and she knows how to open presents!

This was Chloe's first Christmas. I love when there are children at Christmas. There are only two children left in my family. Somebody's got to start popping out some kids!

Giving the seal kisses turned into a kind of soggy stuffed animal.

Coooookies!

Every year I take a day off about a week before Christmas and my mom and I spend the entire day baking cookies. Last year we made eight different kinds. This year we decided not to make any. It was so much work and many of the people in our family only had one or two cookies. We'd make cookies that required a million ingredients and recipes that made too many cookies.

My mom stuck to the plan but I thought we needed something so I made a few.

For the past five years or so I've made baklava. This year I made baklava bars. Much easier and still has the same taste. I made simple sugar cookies with either candy cane kisses or chocolate mint kisses in the middle (they completely melted to they are little blobs). And I tried for the first time to make pistachio cranberry biscotti. Only okay but they are pretty good to dip in your coffee.

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas!

Cake in a mug

I got an e-mail with this recipe for a 5-minute chocolate cake in a mug. I tried it.

You mix your ingredients - 5 tablespoons of this, 3 of that, egg, milk, etc.

Pour it in a mug.

Microwave for three minutes.

The scary part is that it comes way up over the top but the recipe tells me not to panic. Pfff.

Then you let it cool for a couple minutes.

Dump it out on a plate and enjoy.

However, the enjoying part was the hard part. Imagine if that latex memory foam was edible. That is the consistency. I expected it to taste like rubber but the taste was really bland.


It ended up in the trash after two bites. I know, I know... WHO THROWS AWAY CHOCOLATE CAKE??? This wasn't cake, remember, it was some sort of dense, spongy, rubbery concoction that, had I made more, I could have layered it on my mattress to sleep on.

Maybe I should have doused it with hot fudge and eaten it with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

I'm Not That Girl

I'm Not That Girl

Hands touch, eyes meet

Sudden silence, sudden heat

Hearts leap in a giddy whirl

He could be that boy

But I'm not that girl

Don't dream too far

Don't lose sight of who you are

Don't remember that rush of joy

He could be that boy

I'm not that girl

Ev'ry so often we long to steal

To the land of what-might-have-been

But that doesn't soften the ache we feel

When reality sets back in

Blithe smile, lithe limb

She who's winsome, she wins him

Gold hair with a gentle curl

That's the girl he chose

And Heaven knows

I'm not that girl

Don't wish, don't start

Wishing only wounds the heart

I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl

There's a girl I know

He loves her so

I'm not that girl...

Ebony and ivory

Since I was eight or nine years old I wished I could play the piano. Many times in my life I’ve been asked from others if I play the piano “your fingers are so long”. I tried to teach myself with my grandma & grandpa’s old player piano using the piano books my mom learned from as a kid. My uncle taught himself, I thought I could too. My childhood friend could play. I made her play for me all the time. I made my uncle play for me. I loved to sit next to my grandma as she played.
I couldn’t grasp reading music. I couldn’t read music when I played the clarinet in band during seventh and eighth grade. I just knew that if the note was there on that line it meant my fingers went like this on my clarinet. I didn’t know how to count the time. I didn’t know how to determine a sharp from a flat or even what that meant. I still don’t. When trying to play the piano I’d get frustrated because I wanted to play the piano. I wanted to sit down and pound out a piece that would bring tears to my eyes because of the emotion. So, playing piano never happened. I have memorized the very, very beginning of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata and that’s as impressive as it gets.
At least once a year I go through a phase where I really wish I could play the piano. I figure with all the years of wishing, I could have been practicing and today I would be able to pound out that piece and triumph from my incredible talent.
Even though I’ve been saying it for almost 30 years, I will say it again: Someday I will learn to play the piano.

You're wrong...

It sounds terrible and snotty and holier-than-thou but I kinda do this. Although, it's not because I like to prove people wrong, I look at it as a public service. I hate people to be misinformed... or something like that.

From Post Secret

No hustle, no bustle

I can't believe it, this is almost unheard of. I have only three more presents to buy for Christmas and I know what I'm going to buy. Usually a couple days before Christmas I'm still scrambling around for that last gift or two. This year has been so easy!
Thanks to a very blended family, every year I have about 14 - 16 people to buy for. Not only is it hard to come up with the money for all those gifts, it's hard to come up with ideas. Somehow I did it and I did it early this year.
I baked some cookies this weekend and wrapped the presents I purchased too!
I don't feel the usual stress the holidays bring. I'm calm, cool and collected. Very nice.

Progress & goals

I haven't updated my WW progress for some time. I am down 5.4 lbs. Slow and steady. I told myself I'd take a walk a few times a week after work to move things along but it's so cold out. All I want to do is come home, change clothes and snuggle up with a blanket and my boys.


I hope to be 10 lbs less by the end of the year.


I hope to be 30 lbs less by this spring.


I hope to be 40 lbs less by the end of summer.

It makes my stomach hurt

There is something profoundly disturbing about this picture. I can't put my finger on it, I can't find the right word but immediately upon seeing it this morning I was deeply offended. I can't be sure if it's the look on Bush's face, the kiss, the way he has his arms around the soldiers or what but it disgusts me.




The gratitude of the commander-in chief

President Bush kissed Marine Lance Cpl. Marc Olson of Coal City, Ill., after talking with Olson and fellow Marine Lance Cpl. Patrick Pittman Jr., of Savannah, Ga., at the White House on Tuesday. Olson and Pittman were injured when a suicide bomber attacked their checkpoint in Ramadi, Iraq. Earlier Tuesday the president spoke to the Corps of Cadets at West Point, defending his doctrine of pre-emptive war and warning that the United States must remain willing to“take the fight to our enemies across the world.”Down to his waning days in office, Bush is trying to define his legacy. The president declared that today’s military is“stronger, more agile and better prepared”than the one he inherited in 2001. He urged President-elect Obama to“stay on the offensive”against Al-Qaida and other terrorist groups and said his administration had“laid a solid foundation”for meeting emerging threats around he world. The speech came six weeks before he is to leave office.

HARAZ N. GHANBARI • Associated Press

People and books

I do most of my reading at work during my breaks and lunch and then right before bed.

I'm very good at tuning people out while I'm reading. So much so that most of the time I don't know when someone is talking to me. I like this about books. I like that a good book can completely take over my being and remove me from reality.

People are funny about books. People that don't read a lot, that is. When I start a new book a guy at work asks if it's a drama or a comedy. Is it a true story? If it's fiction he refers to it as "fantasy". He wants to know what the book is about as if I would be telling him the plot of a movie. We do this week after week, book after book.

Another guy tells me that he doesn't read much... occasionally he does... he's reading a book by so-and-so now and it's really well written. It's about a girl who gets done with high school and is now going to college and then... she's just gone. He's only on page 75 and they're talking to her parents now. But it's really well written, the way the author writes. The library didn't have it... he bought it... his wife had a $25 gift card. So anyway...

Another guy just asks what I'm reading and no matter what I'm reading asks if I've read the latest Dean Koontz book. I love Dean Koontz and so the conversation leads to that. The same topics, every time.

Reading at work is a great way to tune others out but it also invites some odd conversation.

Long holiday weekend

This holiday weekend was a busy one.

Thursday was spent at my brothers waiting for dinner. He was almost two hours late in serving. Then onto my dad's for dessert. My favorite - pumpkin apricot cake with cream cheese frosting!

Friday was spent shopping... six hours of shopping. I usually go with my sister but she was in Europe this past week (lucky!). I went with a friend and her two kids. The 15 month old wasn't having any of the shopping business but she did well overall. I got a couple gifts purchased and a couple things for myself... of course.

Saturday I met an old friend for lunch and we ended up hanging out all day. We went on all the rides at Nickelodeon Universe. I've never been on any of the rides at the Mall of America so this was all new to me. I've always gone for the bars (way back when), the restaurants, the movie theater and some shopping. It was fun!

Unfortunately I got a cold somewhere around Thanksgiving morning and it hit me hard Sunday. I slept most of the day and then went to the airport to greet my sister - finally home from Paris and Barcelona.

Sort of out of sorts

I've been somewhat out or my brain for the past several days. Mostly because nothing has really been going on (other than gorging myself on a turkey dinner last Saturday on a trip up to Hinckley).


After eating to the point where we couldn't stand, walk, sit, we managed to lay down on the floor. After a couple minutes, the juvenile humor began. The most dangerous part of this is laughing so hard that we're literally rolling on the floor. It hurts so good.


Yesterday I had a punch in the gut as I noticed a friend on my Facebook page sent me a friend suggestion. I click on the link and it's hell revisited. A person from my past that I really need to leave in the past. Memories of this person are toxic. I have absolutely zero longing for this person. My anger has surfaced. My disgust is prominent. I am walking a thin line between detest and hate. The good news is that I now see this person as a joke - everything they have said, done, will say and will do. I bask in the belief in Karma.


Make him go away.

Assembly line

From Post Secret:
There are many day I agree!

Happy Birthday, Momma!

Still learning life lessons

I ran to Aldi last night at about 6:30 for milk. I'm very excited because they now take all debit and check cards so I will be shopping there more often... but that's beside the point. I was in a hurry because The Biggest Loser was coming on at 7. When I got back into my car at 6:38, nothing happened when I turned the key. My battery was dead.

After a brief period of panic, I called my neighbor (yes, that one). She earned her gold star by coming the half mile to give my battery a jump. At first nothing, that suckah was dead. Once back to my place I backed into my garage stall and it died. It died dead.

My neighbor said to not hesitate to call if I needed her in the morning.

I needed her in the morning.

I hate asking for help. I do everything on my own, by myself. I figure it out and I do it. I refuse to be a helpless female. Unfortunately, I forget that everyone needs help from time to time and it's okay to ask for help and accept help when it's offered. I'm always afraid I'm going to cause people to feel put out.

I waited until 8:10 this morning to call my neighbor. From 7:40 - 8:10 I practically worked my way into a tizzy because I was afraid I'd wake her up, I was afraid she'd feel put out, I was afraid of asking for help.

We got my car going again and I drove the 10 miles to work. All along the way my stomach was doing flips and I was sure that my car would die in the middle of traffic and I'd be one of those people. The ones who are stopped in the middle of a lane with their flashers on while angry drivers are trying to maneuver their way around.

Luckily, I made it without incident and luckily I work at a garage. A battery has been ordered and will be delivered. My car is in a nice warm building and someone will put my new battery in. They will do this without a second thought because they want to help me and they don't see me as a damsel in distress.

I've got a lot to learn

I had my second weigh in last night. This past week I lost 4 lbs. While I'm very excited, I am also reluctant to celebrate too much. I know the first week can be a big loss and I know it's a big loss because I was quite the piggy the couple weeks leading up to the first week.

I didn't follow to the book but I did fairly well staying within my points. This time around, I did discover some habits that I will try to break in the coming weeks.

I binge. I'm a secret eater. The first paragraph rang too true for me:

From the time I was a little girl, I was a sneaky eater. I can remember tiptoeing into the kitchen, gently opening the cupboard where my mom kept old mayonnaise jars full of cookies and crackers, slipping some out and eating them as quickly as I could. I've always had a sweet tooth, and I craved foods that weren't good for me. Then when I was a teenager and became heavy, I got into the mind-set of, "It's not okay for me to eat this so I have to sneak it."

I eat well and little in front of others but when I'm home by myself, I turn into a human vacuum.

I'm a sugaraholic. I crave cookies, cake, ice cream, candy...

I have a habit of having a dessert immediately after I've eaten. It's automatic and I don't even think about it. It's usually ice cream.

I eat when I'm not hungry. I'm trying to figure out the exact reason for this. Obviously I'm an emotional eater but what emotion triggers it, I'm not sure.

So, this time around, I feel like I'm going to finally make that lifestyle change that Weight Watchers is always raving about. I need to put my childish eating habits away.

Lovely weekend, thankyouverymuch.

My dad, my step mom and I went to the Ordway to watch about a dozen of the 30 opera auditions for the MN Opera. I enjoyed it more than I thought. Enough to want to see an opera now.

In May, I got my dad a gift certificate for a shave at Heime's. He finally used it on Saturday. It was fun to watch. But the handle bar mustaches that most of the staff wore was too much. One guy had something weird going on with his little goatee. I was distracted by it when he talked and couldn't possibly take him seriously. What does he do when he's on his own time wearing a Nike running suit to Target? Does he wax up the ol' goat and hold his head high as he browses the TP isle?

My dad was browsing around the shop while we were waiting for his appointment and some shoe salesman latched on to us. He went on and on about this shoe and that shoe. My dad showed no interest but the guy wasn't going to let up. The salesman went on and on about the way this shoe was made and he's been selling these for 18 years and those are only made in such and such, blah, blah, blah. He finally said, "I sold two pair of those yesterday". My dad turns to him and as he walked away said, "congratulations". Is that the best or what?!

Later we had a lunch I would kill to eat again. We went to the St. Paul Grill and I had "The Grill" Charlie's.

Two Grilled Medallions of Beef Tenderloin on Fresh Potato Rolls topped with Caramelized Onions and Horseradish Mayonnaise. Served with a Side of Béarnaise.

It was done so perfectly I whimpered with every delicious bite.


On Sunday, after much debate and trying to convince my friend's daughter NOT to do this, I caved. Cierra has been toying with the idea of coloring her hair black. Her beautiful brown highlighted hair. I tried talking her into dark, dark brown. "No, I want black". I told her once you go black, you never go back. "Black". So, I did it. It's drastic and makes her look an entirely different race (she's biracial- black/white). She just called me this afternoon to thank me again and tell me she loves it. Whew!

Let me tell you about Cierra. I met her when she was three months old. Her mom and I were just becoming friends our senior year of high school. I spent more days with Cierra and her mom than I did with my own family. I fell so deeply in love with this little girl it sometimes took my breath away. She has always been sweet and loving and funny and beautiful and she completely adored me. She is now 18 and an adult but still very much my baby girl. She fills my heart with so much love and I can't imagine my life before her or without her. Anyway, that's my Cierra. Cierra with the black hair.

Dog Dance

I loved this video. I actually got a little choked up especially at minute mark 1:50 when they "danced" back to back.

Election Day

Too many people have asked me already "have you voted yet" I had three people ask me before 9 am. I'm not sure what the fascination is. If I say yes, that's the end of that, no questions asked. If I say no, there are questions to answer. Are you going to vote? When? Where do you vote?

Does any of this really matter to individuals other than the candidates? Is it just conversation? I'm not completely offended, I'm just a very private person when it comes to religion and politics as far as the general public is concerned.

I will be voting after work. I believe that as it is my right, my privilege, to vote, it is also my right NOT to vote. It is not required of me.

This is the first presidential election that I have paid enough attention that I believe I can make an informative vote. I'm not basing my vote on the opinions of others. I'm not voting based on what my friends and/or family are voting on. I'm not voting based on being a Democrat or Republican. I'm voting for what I agree on, what I believe will be best for the country, what I believe will allow me to sleep at night.

One thing is certain, I will be so happy when the commercials are over and the mailings stop.

Update: My own mother asked me, "Have you voted? You HAVE to vote". I said I was voting but that I didn't have to. "Oh yes you do. Your mother said so".

Back on the wagon - take 6

I'm going back to Weight Watchers tonight. I've done it before and lost 31 lbs. That was also thanks to an overactive thyroid. Now, with medication, I have an underactive thyroid and I've gained a million lbs. back. So, back to meetings since I need the structure, support and accountabilty that they bring.

I'm not setting any goals other than to lose. I'll go every Monday, wearing the same outfit so the material I have one doesn't cause even a 10th of a pound gain. I'm wearing my tightest pair of jeans that will fit perfectly by the end of the year (ie. no muffin top)... right?

Not dressing up

Another Halloween will go by without dressing the boys up. They are still thoroughly humiliated and completely pissed off with the past.

I almost picked up a chicken and a dinosaur costume at Target earlier this week but... well, wait, the day/night is still young.

Makin' lather

I made soap!

After a million hours of researching online different recipes, techniques, additives, this and that, etc. I made shampoo bars.

It started with my hunt for stinging nettle. I've learned more about nettle than I care to know but it was also very educational. It adds to my odd extensive knowledge of random subjects... like the Amish. We'll get into that another day.

So, to make sure I found nettle I had to go on various walks through different wooded areas. And to make sure I had the right stuff, I had to touch it to see if it would make the stinging itchy feeling it's known for. As I'm roaming these wooded areas and touching several different weeds I thought to myself, "self, you don't know what poision oak or poison ivy look like". Thankfully, I didn't touch any. I finally found some nettle and picked it. Yes, it stung and itched like a mo f0.

Next, mixing the lie. It got to be about 175 degrees. I tried taking a picture in the pitcher but the heat steamed up the lens.

Mixed the oils (coconut, olive and castor)

Then stirred and stirred and stirred... for an hour until it started to thicken up. I added the essential oils and dried nettle leaves then poured it in the molds.

After 24 hours in the molds with towels laying over them for insulation I checked to see if the mixture was hardening. I was convinced I had failed. BUT, it was hard and it was still hot - good! Another 24 hours and I removed it from the molds (I used a cardboard milk carton) and sliced it. Now it will cure for about 6 weeks. I'm excited!

Stand By Me

This makes me feel so happy inside.

Catching up

I had a crush on this guy from 7th grade until about 10th grade. I was madly, deeply, painfully in love but the love wasn't returned. We talked on the phone all the time and hung out in the same group of people but we never "went together".

He was gorgeous. Sandy blond curly hair, green hazel eyes and he got so tan in the summer. I loved him.

On Facebook, I saw his last name connected with a female first name, checked it out and it's a picture of the whole family. Three little girls that look just like him, his wife and HIM! He's a little chubby and has a receding hair line but it looks like him.

Of course I didn't expect him to look the way he did the day we graduated from high school. It's been almost 20 years. People change, as they should. Lord knows I've gained damn near 70 lbs since graduation. But I was surprised anyway.

It's fun to see people from my past. The Internet has allowed me to reconnect with a lot of people, even if it's just through the web. Much of my curiosity has been satisfied and in some cases I'm intrigued with the lives of people from my past.

I often wonder what happened to some people. Not specifically of one person or another but people in general. When you go to school with someone or work with someone, you see these people and spend more time with them than any of your family members. They are so much a part of your past, your memories, maybe even a part of who you are. Then one day, they're gone.

Anyway, it's been fun catching up with my past.

NOLA (New Orleans Louisiana)

A year ago this week I was in New Orleans. Thinking back on that trip I have a longing for Louisiana. I wouldn't live there but I would visit again.

We stayed in the French Quarter just a couple blocks from Canal Street. We walked everywhere or took public transportation. The day we visited the plantations and the swamp was part of a day tour and a shuttle drove us to our destinations. We learned a ton from our driver. She took us through some residential areas that were still abandoned after Hurricane Katrina. She was staying in a FEMA trailer herself.

The way of life is so different and the historical way of life is so different. I learned so much about the land and the reasons of the South's way of life. Living in the Midwest, I've grown up learning about life on the prairie so the trip to NOLA was a learning experience.

Here are some pictures.

FRENCH QUARTER

^Jackson Square

^French Quarter balcony

^Beignets and cafe latte at Cafe Du Monde

^Voodoo Museum

SWAMP TOUR

^Spanish Moss

^Alligator sunning on a log

^Me holding a snapping turtle

LAYFAYETTE CEMETARY

PLANTATIONS

^San Fransisco Plantation

^Laura Plantation

^Slave Cabin at Laura

^Destraun Plantation (used in "Interview With a Vampire")

^Oak Alley Plantation

^St. Joseph Plantation

^Houmas House

^Nottoway Plantation

Trail of Terrible

Saturday night my friend, my sister and I went to Trail of Terror. I'm glad I went but I won't go again.


1. It's really out there. It was about 25 miles away. Then the you are led on a dirt road for at least a mile to a bumpy, holey ground to park on. You're trying to salvage your car by going slowly over these craters while the parking lot attendants are yelling at you to "keep moving, keep moving"! Aaahhhh! The pressure!

2. Once you get to the main events area it's lit bright with flood lights. The air is polluted with off-key, screaming karaoke.

3. 90% of the people there are between the age of 14 and 18.

4. The lines are horrendous. We waited about 45 minutes for the maze and an hour and five minutes for the hay ride. The maze was worth it, the hay ride wasn't. The lines to some of the attractions criss-crossed and went far beyond the entrances.

People are let in in groups of 4 or less. We were waiting in line to walk through "The Butcher". We were standing there for about five minutes shuffling along. All of a sudden a couple girls join the two girls in front of us. Okay, fine. Groups of four or less. Next thing about 3 more join them and then a couple guys. Now there are eight additional kids in front of us making the group 10.

Uh no. I say something to them about the end of the line being "way back there". One girl (about 16-17 years old) says that "we're with them". Hm. So my friend moves in front of them, and tells us to join her. We go up there and the kids are all up in arms about it. We explain to them that you can't have eight people join you in line. One girl says, "but they're with us. We're all together". Blank stares. Then one girls says, "Just go, go ahead of us. Whatever". My friend goes on to explain to them that it isn't her fault that their parents didn't raise them right... something about she has a kid at home older than all of them and if she ever acted like them, her kid isn't too old to get a whoppin'. She was on a roll. I'm standing there thinking, I'm too old for this. Don't do it, don't join... plus, I didn't want to say the things I wanted to say in front of my sister who had to be mortified since she is the same age as the group of kids. I was a little mortified myself.

After a few minutes it all kind of went away. But then it happened again in the Maze line. This time a group of high school guys ducked under the ropes and cut, literally, in front of about 100 people. I asked if they were seriously going to cut in front of every single person behind us. They got cocky and said, "Oh, I've been waiting here for 30 minutes saving a place in line". My friend got loud and got them to move back a few groups.

As we stood in line for the hay ride we got to zig-zag through the ropes and listen in on a lot of different conversations. At one point we were standing by a girl that was about 15-16 and a couple of her friends. One of her friends was telling her someone was talking about her. Instant attitude, "Who? Who's talkin' 'bout me? I will tell them 'bout themselves" As the line moved and she moved with it we heard the end of the threats, "I will shit on their head".

Really?

Art Festival

On Saturday I went to the Red Wing Art Festival. I was able to buy one thing for myself made by Sue Rowe and I got a Christmas gift from a pottery artist out of the way. They don’t have a website but here is an example of their work.

I stopped by a booth that was selling some of the most beautiful and unique pieces of jewelry I’ve ever seen. I fell in love with one ring but I didn’t have the $525 to spare. It was similar to this one but it had a square garnet and a rectangle orange sapphire.

Miriam Shuros’ booth had some pretty pendants. I may order something for my mom from her online store.

I spent a lot of time looking at Clay Squared to Infinity. So many fun things! I was excited to see her studio was just minutes from my work and that she is open to the public.

I found something I’d like to get for my mom made by Sandra Moen but unfortunately my mom was with me and Ms. Moen doesn’t have a website.

I love art festivals and craft shows! They inspire me and motivate me to dig into my creative side.

The Road

If this movie is as good as the book I may see it five times in the opening weekend.

First Photo Look: The Road
Posted on August 7th, 2008 10:30 AM by Mr. ShrekFiled under: The Road
The Road is based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning book by Cormac McCarthy. It comes out on November 26 and is already generating Oscar buzz.
Starring Viggo Mortensen, Charlize Theron and 11-year-old Kodi Smit-McPhee, the movie was shot in Katrina-ravaged New Orleans and on Mount St. Helens in Washington state for scenes of devastation.
"It's tangible, the misery and hopelessness and the bleakness," Mortensen said of the shoot, which helped create the atmosphere for a film based on a post-Apocalyptic world. "It gives you much more to work with if you're filming in that world instead of a green screen."
As for the popularity of the story?"I think what's made this story so universally loved is because it's really about protecting your child, no matter what the circumstances," the actor said. "At its core, it's a love story."
Here's your first look at Viggo and Kodi Smit-McPhee in The Road:

http://www.reelmovienews.com/2008/08/first-photo-look-the-road/

Good deed

How often are we required to do good deeds? One a day? One a year? Okay, when they present themselves. Well, I did mine.

Yesterday I was going to the grocery store. As I left, zipping along to make the light, I noticed a billfold lying in the street.

I made the light, did a u-turn and waited for the same light from the opposite direction to change. At the second light I made an u-turn on a red light. I didn't care, I had to save this billfold! I drove up along side of it, scooped it up, did some more u-turns and waiting for lights and pulled back into the grocery store parking lot.

I felt like I was violating someone, going through their most personal things. I opened it up and saw Audrey, a 74 year old woman looking back at me from her driver's license picture. I felt sick. Poor Audrey, does she know her billfold is missing? I can only assume she placed it on top of her car to put her groceries in and took off forgetting about it.

I looked at her checks, no number. I looked through various compartments looking for some sort of phone number. I saw pictures of grandchildren peering back at me. A casino punch card, a flower frequent buyer card, a couple credit cards and lists written out in a cursive writing for a generation passed.

I paged through the check book again and saw that she had written a phone number on a few of the checks. I call and ask for Audrey.

"Audrey doesn't live at this number" said a female voice of many cigarettes smoked.

As I stammered trying to figure out what to say next I blurted out, "I found her billfold in the street".

Pause and a groggy cackle, "That's my mother".

Whew.

I clutched the billfold to my chest, protecting it from any evil that lurked. I had a certain obligation now to get the billfold to safety, for Audrey.

I told the daughter where I'd leave it, she thanked me. I filled in the associate working at the place I left the billfold on what happened and how this precious billfold and I have seen great things, we've conquered the odds, we are safe and I was on my way.

Fabricated memories

I hate when I dream about him.
It makes me forget all the bad and miss all the good.
The hurt dissolves leaving only desire.
The dreams make me believe what could have been; what should have been.
They leave my heart aching for what used to be.
Dreams like this anger me; make me feel foolish for a part of me still holding on.
Knowing it's all just a dream with real feelings and fabricated memories.

Living on the edge

Ever have those quick lived desires to do something crazy? Like, drive with your eyes closed, don't lock your doors at night or leave a candle burning unattended?

Okay the first thing may be a bit like living OVER the edge... and I've unfortunately done the candle thing.

This morning I when I was leaving I saw that I left my door unlocked. Although I'm obviously here, I'm fine, alive, all that good stuff, I instantly paniced. OH MY GOD! I LEFT THE DOOR UNLOCKED! Heart racing. What was I thinking?!

I should have been thinking that I live in a secure building and the door was simply unlocked, not left wide open. Instead I think, how many people came in and watched me sleep?

Another one bites the dust?

I seem to have some sort of jinx on me. Just about every company I've worked for no longer exists.

I worked for a major department store at two different locations for two years- closed.

I worked for a salon at three different locations for a total of ten years - all three closed.

I worked for a small company affiliated with the company I currently work for for two years - closed.

After being in my present position for eight years, the company I currently work for is filing for bankrupcy.

I don't know what this means.

A little more of my life for all to read.

I posted all the blogs I had on Myspace. I don't spend much time there anymore and I wanted everything in one place. Since this is as good a place as any, I transferred them over.

Most of them have to do with going to school, finding and moving into my condo, my horrible neighbors and all the anxiety and panic that came after that. I'm so glad that is over with. I was in rough shape.

It's actually kind of depressing and I exposed quite a bit but there it is.

I started Blogger in July 2008. Anything before that was transferred from Myspace.

One more thing

I forgot to mention in yesterday's post that the president told me she plans on resigning in January. That will make me president. Ummm...

Patting my own back

When I moved into my condo I made a point to attend all of the monthly association meetings. I wanted to a.) get to know my neighbors and b.) understand where the money goes. Well, since an average of four out of 180 units attends, I'm not getting to know the community as quickly as I thought. The other stuff I'm catching on to.

I'm an observer. I sit quietly, mainly unoticed, gathering information about people. I don't do it intentionally, I just do it. It's stemmed from being an incredibly shy child that carried into my twenties. I observe, I get to know personality traits, the good, the bad and the ugly. I had pretty much formed opinions on just about everyone by the sixth month/meeting.

Interestingly, since about the sixth meeting I attended, I started getting approached by the board members to consider running for the board. NO THANKS! was usually my response. I've seen first hand the behavior of the freaks I am surrounded by. Well, they finally broke me in March (after nearly three years) and I'm now the Vice President of the board.

I'm not sure what the Vice President does. Sorry, got to quoting Palin... As VP of the board I really don't have any outlined duties. I've taken it upon myself to write the quarterly newsletters and doing the occasional research for certain projects that are in the works. I do the latter more because I personally don't want to look like an idiot. I want to be able to make informed decisions, not just vote with the others.

The current president is, I believe 73. She is greatly unliked by a large number of owners. I've never gotten to the bottom of this but I am learning about her and now forming my own opinions. Basically, she loves gossip, likes to look out for numero uno and I've actually caught her in a couple of... fibs. (I have a hard time calling a 73 year old woman a liar!). All of this she denies if confronted.

When I decided to run and then actually joined the board I made sure people were aware that I am going to be open minded, fair and hear people out. My opinion is not necessarily the opinion of all. For many years people have become frustrated with the past and current board and have basically given up on trying to get a point across. I feel like I am opening the channels of communication a bit more. It's slow but I'm finding that many of these homeowners who have been labled "trouble" and considered a bit looney are just frustrated... and maybe just a little looney.

Many of these owners just want to be validated and have some sort of acknowledgment that they were heard. This weekend I gathered my courage and called a unit owner that is known to blow up, yell, insult, etc. I was honestly afraid she would bring out the worst in me as I have a low tolerance to that kind of behavior. But, I kept calm and listened and she responded to that, and thanked me (in a round about way) for calling. I poured on the empathy and lightened her foul mood.

I know she still won't be happy with the results of her original concern but at least someone (me) is following up with her. Or I could find the shrubs in front of my building doused with gasoline or my car pushed into the swamp Yes, it's happened there.

There comes a point

I got this in an e-mail this morning.

There comes a point in your life when you realize: who matters, who never did, who won't anymore... and who always will.

So, don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Eeeek! hahahaha

My throat was sore and my stomach muscles ached from laughing so hard.

Saturday night a friend, her daughter and daughter’s cousin went to Valleyfair (aka. Valleyscare). I hadn’t been since 2000 so I was really excited. Add in the element of scare and I was peeing my pants waiting to go.

We got there just as it was starting to get dark so there wasn’t much going on. So, we went on rides. Oh gawd! I had so much fun!

Steel Venom

Once it was dark the freaks came out and the mazes opened up. There was The Mangler Asylum (mental hospital), Hellside Farm, CarnEVIL (clowns), Chateau du Damne (vampires), Carnage at Crimson Isle (pirates), Mr. Cleaver's Bloodshed (meat packing warehouse) and Blood Creek Cemetery. We went through the cemetery three times. This is where the zombies were. One zombie followed me and it’s just like the movies, you’re running, they’re limping, dragging, whatever, and somehow when you turn around they’re right there!

This one kept following me!

The vampires were scary. One vampire had on the whole cape get up and had on those roller shoes so it looked like he was gliding/floating around. Creepy effect! The vampires in the maze were pretty scary, fangs, hissing, all the good stuff.

We were there for almost six hours. I spent $10.50 on two lemon lime slushys (the best ever!) and $8 on two twist soft serve cones which Shakeela, with one lick, dropped hers on the ground.

In a couple of weekends we’re going on another adventure! I’m starting to like Halloween.