How to gain 2.8 lbs in seven days

Eat like a little piggy.

I had pizza twice this past week.
I ate out twice for lunch.
I went out to dinner three times.
I had Dairy Queen once.
I had two Hershey candy bars.

Put it all together and what have you got? PMS.

NNO

Our association had it's National Night Out gathering this evening. We didn't expect many people and rightly so, only about 20 people showed. We just ordered some pizzas and let people know they could bring something to share.

It's odd, sometimes, what people will bring. This evening we got:

Two pans of brownies
Two boxes of Little Debbie Hunny Buns
A already opened can of smoked almonds
A Baggie of leftover? tortilla chips with salsa
Rice Krispie bars
Beer & pop

Our last little potluck someone brought two single servings of potato salad and some turkey almond salad from a deli and an opened, half-eaten bag of blue tortilla chips.

Needless to say, this is why I have a hard time eating at potlucks with people I don't know.

Sho shoft but still fat

I just had a facial. I think she exfoliated two layers of my skin. Then I think she put on five layers of moisturizer. My skin is sooooo soft and glowing right now. I think I'm going to do this regularily. It was really inexpensive and convenient.


Tonight I am going to have my annual St. Patrick's Day dinner. Corned beef, cabbage, potatoes and Irish soda bread. We're having it early so everyone can make it. This is a new tradition my dad started about seven or eight years ago. He's only a quarter Irish which makes me only an eighth but it's something he wants to celebrate and that means good food. It's my favorite meal of the year.


I had my doctors appointment this week. Thanks to my thyroid disease all my tests came back shitty. Triglycerides and cholesteral are really bad but suprisingly my thyroid levels are fine. So, now I have to cut out sugar and up my exercise. One good thing is that I've lost enough weight to get out of the "obese" BMI. I am now "overweight" (still F-A-T).

Three days 'til Florida!

Shopping on an empty stomach with PMS

I went grocery shopping last night at about 9:30. Not the best time but it's not busy and I can whip through the isles with ease.

The problem is that I had an empty stomach and had all kinds of random cravings.

So I started in the produce section. Avacados. Ohhhh wouldn't guacamole be good? Bought a tomato then needed corn chips.

Ohhh what about a ham, cheese and egg bagle? Bought ham, eggs and bagles. Had cheese. Ohhh what about grilled cheese with bacon? Bought bacon.

Cocoa Pebbles sound good and what about Pop Tarts? Oh, wait how about this idea I saw while staying up late one night watching an infomercial for the Magic Bullet. Whipping cream + chocolate sauce = chocolate mousse.

Two bags of garbage later I got home and all I had to eat was some cinnamon and sugar toast.

Coooookies!

Every year I take a day off about a week before Christmas and my mom and I spend the entire day baking cookies. Last year we made eight different kinds. This year we decided not to make any. It was so much work and many of the people in our family only had one or two cookies. We'd make cookies that required a million ingredients and recipes that made too many cookies.

My mom stuck to the plan but I thought we needed something so I made a few.

For the past five years or so I've made baklava. This year I made baklava bars. Much easier and still has the same taste. I made simple sugar cookies with either candy cane kisses or chocolate mint kisses in the middle (they completely melted to they are little blobs). And I tried for the first time to make pistachio cranberry biscotti. Only okay but they are pretty good to dip in your coffee.

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas!

Cake in a mug

I got an e-mail with this recipe for a 5-minute chocolate cake in a mug. I tried it.

You mix your ingredients - 5 tablespoons of this, 3 of that, egg, milk, etc.

Pour it in a mug.

Microwave for three minutes.

The scary part is that it comes way up over the top but the recipe tells me not to panic. Pfff.

Then you let it cool for a couple minutes.

Dump it out on a plate and enjoy.

However, the enjoying part was the hard part. Imagine if that latex memory foam was edible. That is the consistency. I expected it to taste like rubber but the taste was really bland.


It ended up in the trash after two bites. I know, I know... WHO THROWS AWAY CHOCOLATE CAKE??? This wasn't cake, remember, it was some sort of dense, spongy, rubbery concoction that, had I made more, I could have layered it on my mattress to sleep on.

Maybe I should have doused it with hot fudge and eaten it with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

Long holiday weekend

This holiday weekend was a busy one.

Thursday was spent at my brothers waiting for dinner. He was almost two hours late in serving. Then onto my dad's for dessert. My favorite - pumpkin apricot cake with cream cheese frosting!

Friday was spent shopping... six hours of shopping. I usually go with my sister but she was in Europe this past week (lucky!). I went with a friend and her two kids. The 15 month old wasn't having any of the shopping business but she did well overall. I got a couple gifts purchased and a couple things for myself... of course.

Saturday I met an old friend for lunch and we ended up hanging out all day. We went on all the rides at Nickelodeon Universe. I've never been on any of the rides at the Mall of America so this was all new to me. I've always gone for the bars (way back when), the restaurants, the movie theater and some shopping. It was fun!

Unfortunately I got a cold somewhere around Thanksgiving morning and it hit me hard Sunday. I slept most of the day and then went to the airport to greet my sister - finally home from Paris and Barcelona.

Sort of out of sorts

I've been somewhat out or my brain for the past several days. Mostly because nothing has really been going on (other than gorging myself on a turkey dinner last Saturday on a trip up to Hinckley).


After eating to the point where we couldn't stand, walk, sit, we managed to lay down on the floor. After a couple minutes, the juvenile humor began. The most dangerous part of this is laughing so hard that we're literally rolling on the floor. It hurts so good.


Yesterday I had a punch in the gut as I noticed a friend on my Facebook page sent me a friend suggestion. I click on the link and it's hell revisited. A person from my past that I really need to leave in the past. Memories of this person are toxic. I have absolutely zero longing for this person. My anger has surfaced. My disgust is prominent. I am walking a thin line between detest and hate. The good news is that I now see this person as a joke - everything they have said, done, will say and will do. I bask in the belief in Karma.


Make him go away.

Lovely weekend, thankyouverymuch.

My dad, my step mom and I went to the Ordway to watch about a dozen of the 30 opera auditions for the MN Opera. I enjoyed it more than I thought. Enough to want to see an opera now.

In May, I got my dad a gift certificate for a shave at Heime's. He finally used it on Saturday. It was fun to watch. But the handle bar mustaches that most of the staff wore was too much. One guy had something weird going on with his little goatee. I was distracted by it when he talked and couldn't possibly take him seriously. What does he do when he's on his own time wearing a Nike running suit to Target? Does he wax up the ol' goat and hold his head high as he browses the TP isle?

My dad was browsing around the shop while we were waiting for his appointment and some shoe salesman latched on to us. He went on and on about this shoe and that shoe. My dad showed no interest but the guy wasn't going to let up. The salesman went on and on about the way this shoe was made and he's been selling these for 18 years and those are only made in such and such, blah, blah, blah. He finally said, "I sold two pair of those yesterday". My dad turns to him and as he walked away said, "congratulations". Is that the best or what?!

Later we had a lunch I would kill to eat again. We went to the St. Paul Grill and I had "The Grill" Charlie's.

Two Grilled Medallions of Beef Tenderloin on Fresh Potato Rolls topped with Caramelized Onions and Horseradish Mayonnaise. Served with a Side of Béarnaise.

It was done so perfectly I whimpered with every delicious bite.


On Sunday, after much debate and trying to convince my friend's daughter NOT to do this, I caved. Cierra has been toying with the idea of coloring her hair black. Her beautiful brown highlighted hair. I tried talking her into dark, dark brown. "No, I want black". I told her once you go black, you never go back. "Black". So, I did it. It's drastic and makes her look an entirely different race (she's biracial- black/white). She just called me this afternoon to thank me again and tell me she loves it. Whew!

Let me tell you about Cierra. I met her when she was three months old. Her mom and I were just becoming friends our senior year of high school. I spent more days with Cierra and her mom than I did with my own family. I fell so deeply in love with this little girl it sometimes took my breath away. She has always been sweet and loving and funny and beautiful and she completely adored me. She is now 18 and an adult but still very much my baby girl. She fills my heart with so much love and I can't imagine my life before her or without her. Anyway, that's my Cierra. Cierra with the black hair.

Hungry

I want some more guacamole.
Then I want some chocolate cake.

Holy moly, guacamole!

I made the best - THE BEST - guacamole last week. Like I said before, I'm not a cook but this doesn't require any stove or oven type behavior. I learned to make this guacamole from hovering over my brother's shoulder pointing and asking, "what's that"? And "How much of that did you put in". Basically, it's just whatever and however much and it can change at anytime.

This is the first time I made it solo and oh lawdy! it was so good I could have cried. (I think that way about chocolate cake too).

The Great Minnesota Get Together

Last Saturday I went to the MN State Fair. The weather was perfect and the food did not let me down. We went early - 10:30 am. It wasn't that crowded and the lines weren't bad. Suddenly around 1:00 we realized the place was packed. Somehow we managed to stay another three hours shuffling our way through the crowds.

A sea of people

I love going to the animal buildings. My friend's daughter spent the summer in Iowa learning to barrel race so she loved the horses. We walked through the cattle barn and lastly the swine barn. There, plopped in a pen is the 1240 lb. sow that is always featured (a different one each year).

That's some pig!

And when you come out you turn into piggys.

Going with a group of people allows a person to try a little bit of everything. A bite of this and a bite of that. Grazing all day long. This year I tried many more items than normal.

1. Battered & deep fried pickle chips dipped in Ranch dressing
2. Cheese curds
3. Foot long hot dog with ketchup, mustard, fried onions and sauerkraut
4. Luigi Fries (cheese covered bread sticks dipped in marinara sauce)
5. Roasted corn on the cob
6. Seasoned pork chop on a stick
7. Chicken egg roll on a stick
8. Chocolate covered banana and strawberry on a stick
9. Sweet Martha's chocolate chip cookies
10. Strawberry banana smoothie
11. Root beer float
12. Taco burrito
13. Chocolate covered bacon (served cold. It wasn't bad but it wasn't good)
14. Alligator on a stick
15. Several lemonades and waters

I feel like I might be leaving something out but that's the gist of it!

Pig Lickers - Chocolate covered bacon

That's enough for one year. Now the countdown begins for next year.

So what? I'm a picky eater

It's kind of a joke with my family and friends about the way I eat. I have certain rules and rituals that must be followed. It gets to be complicated.

1. No mushrooms - none whatsoever. I will pick the microscopic pieces from anything made with cream of mushroom soup.
2. Jam only - I don't like chunks of fruit in my spread.
3. No fruit chunks in my yogurt either. However, I will eat the pina colada flavor.
4. All sandwiches not prepared by me will be opened and rearranged so that there is an even amount of ingredient in each bite.
5. Raw onions on hamburgers only.
6. Tomatoes on Mexican food only.
7. Nothing that live in water. That's right, no fish, no seafood (shrimp, lobster, all of it). I note what's in the parenthesis because if I say this to someone usually the first thing they ask is, "No shrimp or lobster?" No, I'm not missing out because I can't stand the taste and texture. The exception is tuna... from a can... from Subway.
8. Eggs have to be eaten with toast or in a tortilla. I can't eat eggs plain.
9. I don't eat oranges but I'll suck the juice out.
10. No meat on the bone - chicken especially, ribs, pork chops.

I will try things before I say I don't like them and I will try them every so often to see if my tastes have changed.

A few items I am afraid to try with absolutely no explanation:

-Lychee
-Mango
-Pomegranate
-Kumquat
-Plantains
-Papaya
-Avocado
-venison
-duck

Needless to say, I pretty much live on cereal.

Anything and Everything On-A-Stick

In Minnesota, the state fair is something that I and most others start waiting for somewhere around March. The food cravings start as a soft whisper and by June and July it becomes this intense NEED for food on-a-stick. The wait is prolonged until the first of those 12 days through Labor Day. We eat our way through the fair, see animals (last year I went to the Miracle of Birth Center for the first time and was pretty much appalled. Cows and sheep panting in labor with crying kids [god, it was so loud in there] and people crowding around their pens... but I'm overly sensitive) and do a lot of people watching. Many ride the rides and play games while I cringe from the Carnies. We see shows and concerts and even watch a surgery on a cat or dog. A trip to the fair is not complete without a quick walk through the Empire Commons to see the butter sculptures of the Princess Kay of the Milky Way. Nearly 1.7 million people went through the gates of the MN State Fair in 2006 and 2007. That's a lot of Pronto Pups to be served.



Just a small list of some of the FOOD served at the fair:



Mac and cheese on-a-stick
Rueben on-a-stick
Walleye on-a-stick
Spaghetti & meatball on-a-stick
Alligator on-a-stick
Pork chop on-a-stick
Belgian waffle on-a-stick
Egg roll on-a-stick
Frozen espresso on-a-stick
Pizza on-a-stick
Hotdish on-a-stick
Fried fruit on-a-stick
Salmon on-a-stick
Frozen key lime pie on-a-stick
Fried pickles on-a-stick
Butterscotch cake on-a-stick

Deep fried candy bar on-a-stick
Coca-Cola cheesecake dipped in chocolate on-a-stick
Rocky road scones on-a-stick
S'mores on-a-stick
Sloppy joes on-a-stick



New this year is:
Big Fat Bacon - 1/3 pound of bacon, fried and caramelized with maple syrup (on-a-stick).
Pig Lickers - chocolate-covered bacon sprinkled with sea salt
Pickle Pop - pickle juice frozen in a push-up sleeve
Hand made tator tots - made with hashbrowns, chedar cheese, bacon, green onion and sour cream deep fried and served three on-a-stick

Chicken bites - blackened chicken breast meat served with horseradish sauce
Walking taco - taco meat, cheese salsa and sour cream served in a Dorito bag of tortilla chips
At O’Garas - Leprechaun legs - lightly-battered deep-fried green beans with dipping sauce
Caribbean jerk seasoned sausage (jerk on-a-stick)
Sticky bun burrito - tortilla filled with cinnamon bread pudding covered with caramel sauce



14 days to go...

OINK!

I made a cake last night simply because I was craving one piece. I made a chocolate Bundt with cream cheese frosting. I sliced out a big ass piece and oinked it down. That was my dinner.

Now I have the rest of the cake to deal with. I should bring it to work so I don't try to eat it all. But I sure as hell am looking forward for another big ol' piece tonight.