Best lines

From the HBO series Deadwood. I loved this show and am still so disappointed that it was canceled!

Calamity Jane: Maybe I will have a f*ckin' drink, for sociability's sake and 'cause I'm a f*ckin' drunk.
Joanie Stubbs: What's your preference?
Calamity Jane: That it ain't been previously swallowed.
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Al Swearengen: Get a f*cking haircut. Looks like your mother f*cked a monkey.
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Calamity Jane: My best friend died. The man I had my best friend-feeling about in the world. Took you as he found you, thought the best of you. Sweet to me!
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Al Swearengen: Don't play that sh!t where you make me drag your words outta you. Declare, or shut the f*ck up.
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Calamity Jane: If I had that mug on me, I believe I'd cut down getting told how butt f*cking ugly I was by not staring at strangers.
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Charlie Utter: My bowels are in an upheavel. I'll walk off to pass wind. Don't ever say I'm not a f*cking gentleman.
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E.B. Farnum: Allow me a moments silence, Mr. Hearst. Sir, I am having a digestive crisis and must focus on suppressing its expression.