Blahg

Wedding Hair

2012-02-01T22:43:00.000-06:00

I did my first wedding party in a couple years. I did the hair for a bride, four bridesmaids and the MOB. Updos and formal hair is one of my favorite things to do and one of the main things I miss about doing hair.

The day started out a bit annoying... very annoying I got to the MOB's house at the scheduled time. It's at this time the bride decides she's going to jump in the shower.

What?!

Seriously, this is not what we do.

A couple bridesmaids show up ten minutes later so I can at least start on someone.

The bride has never used mousse in her hair and she never, never blow dries it. One of the bridesmaids has to do this for her.

Lordy.

After doing 1 1/2 bridesmaids I get the brides hair set and she goes off to do her make up. I do another 1 1/2 bridesmaids and plan to finish the bride. Two minutes into it she gets a call and needs to take it... for 20 minutes.

I finish the bridesmaids, the bride comes back with 45 minutes left on the clock. Her hair is horrendous to work with. Fine, stick straight, slippery (because it was freakin' freshly washed), and doesn't hold a curl. Working it into the bun I need to is going to be a nightmare and I need all the minutes I can get.

Well, she's happy with it but I'm too much of a perfectionist and would ideally love to start over. No can do.

Meanwhile the 11 year old bridesmaid keeps putting on her jacket and the collar is rubbing on her newly done hair.

I notice that one bridesmaid's "rosettes" are off center. Dang.

I have three minutes left on the clock and need to do the MOB. Thankfully there is time and they are on their way only 20 minutes behind schedule.

$$$

My tweezer may go bad.

2012-01-31T22:28:00.001-06:00

I spend far too many minutes everyday in front of my magnified mirror tweezing those suckahs.

It's just not right.

It's just not fair.

It comes with age, genetics and that pesky thyroid disease that annoys my life.

I finally made the plunge and bought laser hair removal treatments - thanks to Groupon.

$199 will get me six sessions (chump change when you have the ol' plastic magical money).

The logic is that this will save my sanity and maybe a bit o' self esteem.

The hair on my chinny-chin-chin will be history in less than a year.

This is a life changing event.

This could be my birthday gift to myself...

Wait, that's what this was:

I will mention that I forgot to have the halo added...

Countdown to 40... continued

2012-01-22T20:09:00.000-06:00

In 61 hours I will be 40.

I have 61 hours left of my 30's.

I will be in sunny AZ when I phase my way into my fourth decade.

If I was born at 9:09 in the Central Time Zone, does it mean that I turn 40 at 8:09 in the Mountain Time Zone?

When I was 12 and 20 and even 30 I thought 40 was old.

I hope I never look or feel 40 until I'm 50.

I think I like this...

2012-01-04T19:22:00.002-06:00

"make our (your) mind so like still water that beings gather around us that they may see...their own images, and so live for a moment with a clearer, perhaps even with a fiercer life because of our (your) quiet."

W.B. Yeats

Countdown to 40

2012-01-02T22:27:00.001-06:00

In 23 days I will turn 40.

In 22 days I will be flying to AZ.

It's currently 77 degrees there.

It's currently 17 degrees here.

I will spend the last day of my 30s and the first days of 40 is warm weather.

This is good.

The definition of a fool

2011-12-28T19:51:00.000-06:00

A fool is someone who is off work starting Friday at noon and comes back on Tuesday only to look at the calender around 10 a.m. and see that they were to be off on that day as well.

Who forgets to take a day off?!?!

Fortunately I had today to take off and all is well.

Feeling VERY bah-humbuggy this year

2011-12-23T16:02:00.000-06:00

Things have changed so much since my grandpa passed away in the fall of 2005. He was the family glue. Without him there is no gathering for Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas is losing it's appeal.

Forever I have dreamed and anticipated Christmas Eve with my mom's side of the family (Day is reserved for my dad). I have forever been solid in my traditions - where we go, what we eat, etc. It's what makes Christmas.

Today I visited the cemetery, brushed off the dusting of freshly fallen snow and shed a few tears because I miss my grandma and grandpa so much. I miss who he was and what he represented. Is it weird I took a picture?

This year I will "host" Christmas eve and there will be a total of four of us. Yes, it's about love and getting together with family and friends but something is missing.

I didn't decorate at all. But I was busy making a scarf for a friend. Turns out I was so terribly, terribly sick the night we were to exchange that I wasn't able to give it to her.

There's major clutter on my coffee table. Nothing that a box and a closet can't handle.

I have major cleaning to do. My vacuum cleaner doesn't work.

I have to buy the food I will be serving in 24 hours.

I'll go see a movie first... after I watch an archived episode of Bones.

Christmas will be good. I just have to get there.

Phewy.

Holly

2011-12-10T00:21:00.001-06:00

I recently came across something on etsy.

My heart instantly soared and I felt a little flutter... I may have actually gasped. HOLLY HOBBIE!

When I was little, perhaps a wee six or seven years old, I went to some gathering with my mom's work. There was a drawing to win various prizes.

My name was called... What did I win? I won a Holly Hobbie doll! Being insanely shy there was no way I was going to go up there to claim it. My mom's friend went up to get it and when she handed me that doll I remember the feeling that it was all I ever needed in life.

I loved her rosy cheeks. I loved her calico dress and bonnet. I loved that her hair was brown like mine and that it was braided... not like mine. I would look at her and hug her and trace her eyebrows, smile and each freckle with my little finger. She was beautiful in my eyes. I loved my Holly Hobbie doll.

Last month of the year

2011-12-03T23:52:00.001-06:00

This year went way to fast for me.

I think it's supposed to still be July or so (strange since there's snow on the ground).

I'm feeling especially lazy in the Christmas decorating department. I have nothing up. I just like to sleep too much these days. I have to make my Christmas cards.

The pressure of being me.

I'm doing a lot of important things like watching the entire series of Dark Shadows in preparation of the Tim Burton movie coming out in May 2012 starring my Johnny Depp.

I'm also knitting a scarf as a gift for a name I drew. It's a beautiful scarf. If only I could take a picture of it to show you but I seem to have lost the battery charger to my camera.

If I took the time to clean some clutter away... perhaps I'd find it.

I did something stupid. I organized a cookie exchange at work and it hasn't brought out the best in me. People are SO strange about cookies and exchanging them.

I'm busy having a crush as well. Although I'm told he flirts with me, I'm blind to these gestures. I've decided he's maybe a little shy, not ready for anything "romantic" or not interested in girls. It has to be the latter since I'm a friggin' catch.

The reason boot cut jeans exist.

2011-09-03T18:57:00.000-05:00

Last summer I went to the Adirondacks. While there, my sister comes out in the most amazing boots. I may or may not have drooled. They were worn and rugged and cool. She wears them when she goes horseback riding which made them even cooler.

I wore them one afternoon when I rode a horse for the first time in about 30 years. This was to get over my fear of horses.... besides the point.
I believe those worn, rugged and cool boots gave me confidence. I spent a lot of time looking down at my feet... even on top of that horse... bareback.

"What kind of boots are these?"
"Those are Frye boots".
"What?"
"Frye. It's the brand."

The day I get back from NY I search online. Where do I get these Frye boots?? What are these Frye boots?? Well, they're $218 is what they are and I've never spent more than $49.99 on footwear (except my running shoes which I no longer run in).

"They never go on sale", I'm told.

I'm bound and determined to get these boots.... someday.

Well, today is that day, folks!

I found them on Amazon.com for a lot less so I snatched them up and did another thing I never do... I charged those bad boys... because they're worth it and gosh darn it, so am I.

Hell mutha effin' yeah.

Icky inside.

2011-08-23T21:18:00.000-05:00

Today I am full of negative energy.

I want to move but my place is worth nothing.
I'm vibrating with anxiety - I even took a brisk walk to shake it off.
My chin no longer exists as it has merged with my neck (good thing i took a walk).
I don't want to have to listen to my downstairs neighbor's music while I watch Charmed.
I don't know if it's still acceptable to wear skinny jeans with tall boots - I want to wear both.
Sam won't leave me alone; he loves me too much.
People who can't multitask frustrate me.
This year has gone by too fast.

Of course things could be worse, I could have to fight demons and evil warlocks daily like the Charmed Ones.

D.C.

2011-08-22T23:02:00.000-05:00

A few days ago I returned from a trip to Washington, DC.
This is the last of my "must see" places in the US.

The first day I pretty much spent most of my time saying, "Omigod! I'm in DC"!

Washington Monument

White House

Orangutan Crossing (National Zoo)

Panda (National Zoo)

National Cathedral


Ford Theater where Lincoln was assassinated.

Mary Lincoln's gown


Lincoln's hat he was wearing when he was assansinated.

Iwo Jima

Tomb of the Unknowns

Vietnam Memorial

Korean War Memorial

Waiting to ride an elevator to the top of Washington Monument.

Spirit of St. Louis

The United States Capital

There was so much to see and do in DC. To list everything we saw and did would make the list quite long but it would include:

The Hope Diamond
Archie Bunker's Chai
All the inauguration gowns of the First Ladies
The Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights, the Constitution, Emancipation Proclamation
The Exorcist stairway in Georgetown
The flag that inspired the writing of the song "Star Spangled Banner"
Library of Congress
John Kennedy's resting place and eternal flame.
Tomb of the Unknowns changing of the guard
Lincoln Memorial, Jefferson Memorial, WWII Memorial
Union Station

And so much more. To see it all with my own eyes; original documents that are hundreds of years old, artifacts that founding fathers wore or used or held... It's unforgettable.

Black toes and green fingers

2011-08-01T21:48:00.000-05:00

When you spend 2 1/2 hours with a little girl just one month shy of turning four, you'd think things could get a little hectic. Those buggers have a lot of energy.

I have the sweetest little goddaughter there ever was.

We went to the dining establishment of her choice - McDonald's. I have never heard someone exclaim the deliciousness of a McNugget over and over the way she did. Apparently I'm missing out with the cheeseburger.

Even though it's 95 and humid, a park in full sun is what she asks for. As I slowly melt away, I talk her into leaving for another park, a more shaded park. To her this means only one thing: TWO PARKS!!

Me: Let's go on the swings so we can catch a breeze.

J: Okay, push me high! Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

We swing in silence. The breeze feels good.

J: This is nice.

Me: It is.

J: I like spending time with you.

It took everything in me not to jump up and eat her with kisses and squeeze her little head. I gathered myself...

Me: I like spending time with you too.

When a three year old who is almost four says things like that to you, you color her toes black and her fingers green because that's what she wants.

Love boxed up for safe keeping.

2011-07-19T21:29:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine recently said, "I feel like you go down Memory Lane everyday".

I really had a very happy childhood. I have far more happy memories than sad. Although my parents separated when I was six and divorced when I was seven, I didn't have one of those "I had to grow up fast" kind of childhoods. I suppose I learned coping skills and took on a different kind of role than the role I would have taken had my parents stayed together. (They write books on this stuff!) I was the one (and still very much am) that tries to make everyone happy, comfortable, content, less lonely... I work hard to avoid conflict and make everything better before it can get worse. Sometimes it's exhausting and sometimes it's effortless.

What am I getting at? I think my mom was sad and lonely a lot after her divorce. I don't remember it specifically but I must have sensed something because I took on this "duty" to make sure she knew she was loved very, very much. If by nobody else, at least she was loved by me. I remember singing "You Are So Beautiful" to her when I was about nine and she felt embarrassed, maybe unworthy of the title. I made me sad for her so I sang it loud and clear.

This brings me to my point. I remember , when I was nine, ten, and older, leaving her notes to find when she came home (where was she?? Perhaps out with her boyfriend at the time.) I would miss her so much. I left notes simply stating "To Mom - I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" in every way possible. Decorated with stickers, markers, crayon, yarn. On lined paper, plain paper, construction paper and a combination of all. I even made messages from needlepoint. You read that right.

embroidery and crayon

I know my mom loves me with every fiber of her being.

Saturday afternoon I was digging through a bin she had marked "kid stuff". Inside were every report card, every tooth, every school project, every mother's day card, birthday card, Easter card my older brother and I made. I choked up a little finding that she kept a small cardboard jewelry box that I had given her as a gift. I had torn up paper into tiny little pieces and put it in the box. My mom tells me when she opened it, I "patted my little finger in the confetti of paper and said in a soft voice, 'see? It's soft so you can put things in it' ".

She still has all the proof of how much I (we) love her in a box.

embroidered garden

I don't wear "mackup".

2011-07-18T21:29:00.000-05:00

Saturday evening I met my friend and her two girls (my goddaughters) at Perkins (where kids eat free on Saturday nights!)

As soon as I sat down Anna (8) says to nobody in particular: There's something that looks different about Auntie Laura.

Me: I'm not wearing any makeup.

Anna: Oh. You look really different.

Me: I suppose it's because you've really only seen me with makeup on.

Anna sits looking at me trying to figure out how someone could look so different.

She asks if I have a pen, she asks her mom for a piece of paper.

Me: What are you going to write?

Anna: It's a surprise.

Without me realizing, she slips the note in front of me.

The only response I could come up with was: I don't wear "mackup".

Road kill

2011-07-16T15:55:00.000-05:00

I am very sensitive to animals. I'm pretty sure they can talk (thanks to Disney), they have families and they are just trying to survive and provide.

I hate when I kill one with my vehicle.

First it was a raccoon... back in '90. I was late getting home (curfew you know) and speeding my way east on 494, only a couple other cars on the road at 1 a.m. ( I was going to be soooo late!). Suddenly, this fat raccoon starts waddling across the freeway. Seriously? Who does that?

No time to break. BAM! Tagged the sucker. Thumpa-thump. I run over him going 60 mph. I look at the rear view mirror and he's still bouncing from the impact. Jeez.

Flash forward about 20 years. I'm running late for work one morning (yes, I tend to run on the late side of things). Stupid squirrel! It darts out, runs back, freezes, darts out again. BAM! Hit him going 30 mph on a side road. The rear view mirror reveals a spastically twitching tail. Ugh.

Now today, the cruise set at 72 mph, PING! A flippin' bird, enjoying his morning flight, dippin' and swayin', wind in his feathers... tags the frame on the side of the windshield (thankfully no blood, no feathers). Looking in the rear view mirror, the collision gave him another five feet of air but sadly he crashed. Oh-no.

Thankfully I'm not partial to insects because I'd be a mess driving with all the bug juice on the windshield.

Know when to walk away, know when to run

2011-07-13T12:00:00.000-05:00

I'm not a gambler.
Repeat that 10 x and that's about how much I'm a gambler.

So, when the idea came up that "we should go to the casino for an hour just to waste some time", my first instinct was to clutch my purse tight to my chest.

I don't get excited to go to casinos... they take my money... I'm not a winner.

But I went, they serve free pop.

We went straight for the penny slots cause we're hard core like that.

I put a dollar in. Didn't win.

I put another dollar in. Didn't win.

I put a third dollar in. This is stupid! I'm just feeding these things dollar bills. I quit!

I take a break, walk away. This is intense stuff.

I say, fine, I'll put another dollar in. I push a button. Dang! I just bet $.75 of my dollar! Oh, wait, cool, I got five free spins. Interesting, I'm winning my dollar back... two dollars... six dollars. Great, I won my money back!

It keeps going.

$10.40

$22.00

$48.20

OH MY!

$81.50

$125.30

$167.00

HOLY! I think I may have won a million dollars!!

$199.95

$215.20

$224.50

Holy mother of....

I cashed out and clutched my purse tight to my chest and got myself a Pepsi.

Spreading the love

2011-07-11T22:55:00.000-05:00

Stepmom #1 is an unbelievable knitter and sewer (seamstress?). I have spent the days since I was eight years old watching her knit numerous items. Being such a shy child (painfully shy) I would slowly shake my head 'no' when she would ask me, "do you want to learn to knit?" Inside I was saying, "yes, oh yes, yes, yes! Just show me because I can't say it!".

Twenty-five years later I learned how to cast on my first project from a stranger during a lunch "class" at work.

I have since then expanded my knowledge of stitches and my inventory of knitting accessories with much help and thanks to my stepmom.

While I have found myself to be a mostly Fall through early Spring knitter, she knits year round.

She now has and Etsy shop I'd like to share; you know, spread the love.

T Crockett Crafts

Taylor aka Baby Boo aka Chunka

Important decisions made regarding my trip to D.C. in August

2011-07-09T00:17:00.000-05:00

I have decided, although very self-conscience, I will wear sleeveless tops when I am in D.C.
I have decided, although my gut sticks out further than my butt, I will pack my swimming suit because it's going to be hotter than a mo' fo and a dip in the hotel's pool at the end of the day will be delightful.
I have decided that wearing sleeveless is an okay thing to do.
I have decided that I am making myself miserable while trying to hide my body parts behind too much clothing.
I have decided there really is no hiding an ample bosom, my obvious beginnings of a fupa, and wing-like upper arms. Today's styles just don't support these bodily issues.
I have decided that there is a fraction of a whole number of people who give a rats patootie what my Buddha belly look like.
I have decided there is an even smaller number of people who give darn tootin' what my arms look like.

Happy Love

2011-06-28T22:36:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite little people at this moment is my goddaughter JoJo. She speaks her heart and some of the things that come out of that little girl's heart are so touching.

What almost 40-year old couldn't bask in all the good things an almost four-year old says about you?

As we walked to the park...
JoJo to her mom: Mommy, I don't want Aunty Laura to go home because I love her so much.

As we walked home from the park...
JoJo to me: Aunty Laura, can you stay a little longer when we get home? I miss you so much.

JoJo to her mom one day: Mommy, I really like Aunty Laura.
Mommy: I know you do.
JoJo: She could be my mommy and I could live with her at her house.

It makes my heart happy.

Oh, and one of JoJo's original jokes - "The grass... is above... the sky!"... followed by uncontrolled giggling.

Baby Boom

2011-06-17T17:08:00.000-05:00

Judah
Claire
Floyd
Taylor
Sloan
Whitney
Quinn

These are the babies of close friends, family and coworkers.

They were all born within 11 months of each other.

I knit what felt like a ton of blankets in a short time.

It caused me severe baby fever.

I think I'm past the worst of it.

Running on empty

2011-06-09T19:54:00.000-05:00

Basically I've been running on empty for going on five months.
A coworker of mine decided she had an medical issue and took leave.
It's all BS but that's neither here nor there.
The fact is that I've been busy beyond belief.
Long gone are the days I spent reading the entire internet.
I don't even have time to log on.
I like it busy but not crazy.
Relief has come in the form of a gal named Kelly.
I'm getting caught up.
I am liking this job thing again.

Deaf and dumb

2011-06-05T16:46:00.000-05:00

The past two weekends I have slept at least 15 hours each night.
The past three months I have come home after work and sat on the couch, barely moving, only getting up to use the bathroom.
The past two months I have been having mild anxiety attacks.
The past six months I have not been able to fall asleep before midnight.
The past three months I have been irritable.
The past month I have been highly irritable.
The past 10 days I haven't shaved my legs.
The past six months I have had no desire to pick up my house.
The past year I have gained and lost the same ten pounds.

I do this every year. I wait until I am in dire need to go to the doctor. Ten years with thyroid disease and I still don't respond to my body's needs.

update

2011-03-27T19:49:00.001-05:00

There is so much I want to say and show. Unfortunately, something happened sometime, somewhere and I'm not able to access my photos, control panel, etc.

Thinking of switching things up a bit

2010-10-04T21:01:00.000-05:00

After all these years, I don't want to be Confused Chaos anymore.

I see "Confused Chaos" at the top of my screen and it makes me anxious and lost because that's not who I am or who I want to be.

I'm not sure of the direction I want to go so just give me a minute here....

Excuse me while I pat myself on the back...

2010-09-02T21:15:00.000-05:00

Another one of my DIY projects was laying tile in my entry way. I was fed up with the condition of the carpet. There was no way to keep on top of the dirt that tracked in. Vacuuming and shampooing just didn't do it.

The scariest part was making that first cut in the carpet. There was no turning back once that was made. It was very liberating pulling the carpet up - like a clean slate.

It didn't take long but I was a few tiles short so I had to make a couple trips back to Lowe's. After I installed the transition threshold, stepped back and admired my work... I must say I'm extremely proud of it! All that's left to do is touch up the paint on baseboards where the carpet came up. Something I'll do when it's less humid out.

Procrastination with a capital 'P'

2010-08-22T20:41:00.000-05:00

The "easy" part was puting the acutal sink in. I replaced the drain as well. After the drain was installed I realized I couldn't get the old faucet off so I bought another. Come to find out it included a drain piece as well. Too late. Oh well. I replaced the valve hoses - another easy step.

When I go to turn the water valves back on the hot leaks - drip.. drip... drip... dripdripdripdrip... What else leaks? The p joint. I take it off, put more tape on, put it on, tighten it to an inch of it's life. Turn on the water (cold of course) and it leaks. I repeat the above steps several times. I'm not giving up on this bad boy.

I'm cramped up under the sink and I'm tired of the smell of pipes and the things that are in pipes.

Long story short, I put off calling someone because I CAN DO THIS! After a month... yes, you read right (but it gets better so hold on) I give it another go. Good grief. How hard can this be? I finally do a thoughrough inspection and see that the rubber washer are dried up and peterfied. The crumble as I pry them out. Ahhh, now we're getting somewhere. I spend the $1.18 at the hardware store to replace the washers and AHHHHH (heavenly music plays from above) no leaks! I don't trust it so I leave the bucket underneath the sink and obsessively check it for the next month (yes, your addition is correct. We are at two months now and the hot water valve is still kaput).

At this point, who cares when the hot water valve is fixed. So I give it another go but still nothing. That thing is set on leaking. Stubborn.

Let's speed up to last Thursday when I finally make "that" call. It's the call that says, "I'm no flippin' plumber and I better quit actin' like one."

I have hot water pouring from my bathroom sink faucet... four months later. I hardly know what to do with myself.

In with the new, out with the old... In that order

2010-08-21T21:56:00.000-05:00

A couple of months ago I bought a dresser from Ikea that I've had my eye on for a while. I've had my old dresser all my life and it was my mom's growing up. With her permission I replaced it and gave it away. It stood empty beside my new dresser for over a month before I found it a home. It was kind of sad in a weird way, seeing it go... but I'm over it now. I'm glad it found a home with a friend.

If you've never put together something from Ikea it can seem overwhelming at first because there are no written instructions, only pictures. Surprisingly it's actually easier than something that says, "put bolt A-1 into piece G-5 and attach to back of board 9 wrong side down on your head while chanting "righty-tighty, lefty-loosey".

It really isn't a difficult task but I have a "helper" that I have to deal with the entire time. Whether it's keeping him from laying on the instructions, batting around the screws or getting into the packaging (he likes to eat packing tape then puke it up in the middle of the night) it seems to take longer than necessary. Of course sometimes there's belly rub breaks (him - not me).

I love my new dresser. It goes so much better with my decor and it warms the room up a bit. Now I need some accessories to place on top. Heavy ones that can't be knocked off by the critters living with me. Like a decorative anvil.

The Adirondacks - Upstate New York

2010-08-20T19:36:00.000-05:00

I've been back form my trip to the Adirondacks for a week now.

It wasn't one of my usual trips. It was much slower paced but we still did a lot and saw a lot. It was hot and muggy and I think I only peed twice a day because of how much I was sweating.

The first night there we rode into town on a buggy. I'm not sure how fun it was because I was so concerned with the horses (Harley) ability to take us down the hills. It's a lot of work for the lil' buggers.

The first night I was introduced to Stewarts ice cream and I became a mild addict. The little stores sell them by the cone and they're everywhere! There was no going wrong with all the flavors. I had plenty of Adirondack Bear Paw, Death by Chocolate and Chocolate Raspberry Ripple

We went on a couple small hikes that were in the "backyard". Both lead to pretty great views.

One day we met up with my brother's ex whom we were all pretty close to. I loved seeing her and it just reminded me how much I love her and miss her. She's doing really well and I'm really happy for her.

My dad and I went to tour Fort Ticonderoga which I'm embarrassed to say I knew nothing about but was a huge part of US history. I loved going there and having my dad to myself. We ate at the Hot Biscuit Diner on the way home and he had a "pretty good" hamburger for only the second time since his heart attack in December... he followed that up with another hamburger three days later.

One evening we enjoyed strolling through the Essex County Fair. Very small. Great people watching. Limited food selection but the there is a riding lawn mower pulling competition.

There was some trick the the leaning that made them go a little further.

We climbed to the top of Mount Jo one day. I was quite a hike and the view was incredible. As was the view from the top of Whiteface Mountain (missing the $18/ea gondola ride to the top we paid $22 for all of us to drive to the top and take an elevator up to the summit that is inside the mountain). I couldn't stop looking at the view of Lake Placid.

Zelda's a mountain climber too. 12 yrs old and practically ran up the whole thing!

My dad bestowed unto me his 40 year old bandanna

And in the end, I got on a horse and rode it bareback around the pen thingy (I believe that is the correct term but don't quote me). I have been terrified of horses since I was about nine. Although I'm hating that I look like a blob of fat sitting on a horse, I was quite impressed with myself for doing it and not crapping my pants in the process.

My dad entertained himself while I rode. He may or may not be singing.

On the way to the airport home we stopped and had lunch at Betty Beaver's Truck Stop and when I got home I reactivated my gym membership.

20 years in the making

2010-08-01T15:35:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I RSVPd to go to my 20 year high school reunion.
There will be a dinner and a DJ. It's nearby and the tickets are cheap - so what the heck!
I'm not looking forward to seeing an ex but it is what it is.
So, I have two months to lift my arse and firm my gut.

Smashing pumpkins on my face

2010-07-30T09:21:00.000-05:00

I did some of research on pumpkin and acne scars. Turns out it's full of enzymes that when put on the skin had a similar reaction of an acid peel.

This is the scarring I've been self conscious of for about 15 years. Hopefully I can post a picture in a few month? that shows some difference!

Pumpkin makes an excellent face mask ingredient for all skin types, especially environmentally damaged or sensitive skin. High in Vitamin A (skin healing), C (anti-oxidant) and Zinc, the pumpkin soothes, moisturizes and acts as a carrier, assisting the other mask ingredients to absorb deeper into the skin and intensifying the results.

So I gave it a try. Mixed a little honey and milk in it.

I slopped it on and left it for 15 minutes.

It didn't smell good. It felt very wet. There was a slight tingling/itchy feel along the jaw line but nothing uncomfortable.

After rinsing it off my skin was very soft and smooth. My complexion looked bright and even. I couldn't find anything that said how often I should do this but I'm shooting for once a week.

Trying to let go and let it be

2010-07-28T23:00:00.000-05:00

I have my trip for this year planned - going to the Adirondacks. Well, I can't completely say I have it planned.

I am going on vacation with no idea of what to expect. I have done little research of the area. I don't know what there is to do. I don't know what to expect.

I'm actually okay with this.

Those who know me know I research the hell out of a trip. I find all there is to do, how much it costs, what day we will go to what places and even the time of day we will go.

Yeah, obsessive. But I see all I want to see, do and eat. It's never hectic and I enjoy every minute of it.

This time I bought my ticket and this was the only decision I had to make. My vacation is in others' hands.

This will also be my first vacation with my dad since I was about 10 years old when we would go camping for a week at a time in Northern Minnesota. This is my first vacation with step mom #2. I will be flying and they and my sister will be driving. This is my first vacation with my sister.

I'm in love with Eat, Pray, Love

2010-07-27T17:00:00.000-05:00

Antoher exerpt I love from Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert

Chapter 48

     The next morning's meditation is a disaster. Desperate, I beg my mind to please step aside and let me find God, but my mind stares at me with steely power and says, "I will never let you pass me by."
     That whole next day, in fact, I'm so hateful and angry that I fear for the life of anyone who crosses my path. I snap at this poor German woman because she doesn't speak English well and she can't understand when I tell her where the bookstore is. I'm so ashamed of my rage that I go hide in (yet another!) bathroom and cry, and then I'm so mad at myself for crying as I remember my Guru's counsel not to fall apart all the time or else it becomes a habit... but what does she know about it? She's enlightened. She can't help me. She doesn't understand me.
     I don't want anyone to talk to me. I can't tolerate anyones face right now. I even manage to dodge Richard from Texas for a while, but e eventually finds me at dinner and sits down - brave man - in my black smoke of self-loathing.
     "What's got you all wadded up?" he drawls, toothpick in mouth, as usual.
     "Don't ask," I say, but then I start talking and tell him every bit of it, concluding with, "And worst of all, I can't stop obsessing over David. i thought I was over him, but it's all coming up again."
     He says, "Give it another six months, you'll feel better."
     "I've already given it twelve months, Richard."
     "Then give it six more. Just keep throwin' six months at it til it goes away. Stuff like this takes time."
     I exhale hotly through the nose, bull-like.
     "Groceries," Richard says, "listen to me. Someday you're gonna look back on the moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. you'll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing and you were in the best possible place in the world for it - in a beautiful place of worship, surrounded by grace. take this time, every minute of it. Let things work themselves out here in India."
     "But I really loved him."
     "Big deal. So you fell in love with someone. Don't you see what happened? this guy touched a place in your heart deeper than you thought you were capable of reaching, I mean you got zapped, kiddo. But that love you felt, that's just the beginning. you just got a taste of love. That's just limited little rinky-dink mortal love. Wait till you see how much more deeply you can love than that. Heck, Groceries - you have the capacity to someday love the whole world. It's your destiny. Don't laugh."
     "I'm not laughing." I was actually crying. "And please don't laugh at me now, but I think the reason it's so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed David was my soul mate."
     "He probably was. your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can't let this one go. It's over, Groceries. David's purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart you ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform you life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it's over. Problem is, you can't accept that this relationship had a real short shelf life. You're like a dog at the dump, baby - you're just lickin' at an empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it An if you're not careful that can's gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it."
     "But I love him."
     "So love him."
     "But I miss him."
     "So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, and then drop it. You're just afraid to let go of the last bits of David because then you'll really be alone, and Liz Gilbert is scared to death of what will happen if she's really alone. But here's what you gotta understand, Groceries. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you're using right now to obsess about this guy, you'll have a vacuum there, an open spot - a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in - God will rush in - and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using David to block that door. Let it go."
     "But I wish me and David could - "
     He cuts me off. "See, now that's your problem. You're wishin' too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be."
     This line gives me the first laugh of the day.
     Then I ask Richard, "So how long will it be before all this grieving passes?"
     "You want an exact date?"
     "Yes."
     "Somethin' you can circle on your calender?"
     "Yes."
     "Lemme tell you something, Groceries - you got some serious control issues."
     My rage at this statement consumes me like fire. Control issues? ME? I actually consider slapping Richard for this insult. An then, from right down inside the intensity of my offended outrage comes the truth. The immediate, obvious, laughable truth.
     He's totally right.
     The fire passes out of me, fast as it came.
     "You're totally right," I say.
     "I know I'm right, baby. Listen, you're a powerful woman and you're used to getting what you want out of life, and you didn't get what you wanted in your last few relationships and it's got you all jammed up. Your husband didn't behave the way you wanted him to and David didn't either. Life didn't go your way for once. And nothing pissed off a control freak more than life not going her way."
     "Don't call me a control freak, please."
     "You have got control issues, Groceries. Come on. Nobody ever told you this before?"
     (Well... yeah. But the thing about divorcing someone is that you kind of stop listening to all the mean stuff they say about you after a while.)
     So I buck up and admit it. "OK, I think you're probably right. Maybe I do have a problem with control. it's just weird that you noticed. Because I don't think it's that obvious on the surface. I mean - I bet most people can't see my control issues when they first look at me."
     Richard from Texas laughs so hard he almost loses his toothpick.
     "They can't? Honey - Ray Charles could see your control issues!"
     "OK, I think I'm done with this conversation now, thank you."
     "You gotta learn how to let go, Groceries. Otherwise you're gonna make yourself sick. Never gonna have a good night's sleep again. You'll just toss and turn forever, beatin' on yourself for being such a fiasco in life. What's wrong with me? How come I screw up all my relationships? Why am I such a failure? Lemme guess - that's probably what you were up at all hours doin' to yourself again last night."
     "All right, Richard, that's enough," I say. "I don't want you walking around in my head anymore."
     "Shut the door, then." says my big Texas Yogi.

Is it alright to say my God is like a good dog?

2010-07-26T18:39:00.000-05:00

Excerpt I love from Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert

Chapter 3
Let me first explain why I use the word God, when I could just as easily use the words Jehovah, Allah, Shiva, Brahma, Vishnu or Zeus. Alternatively, I could call God "That," which is how the ancient Sanskrit scriptures say it, and which I think comes close to the all-inclusive and unspeakable entity I have sometimes experienced. But that "That" feels impersonal to me - a thing, not a being - and I myself cannot pray to a That.

In the end, what I have come to believe about God is simple. It's like this - I used to have this really great dog. She came from the pound. She was a mixture of about ten different breeds, but seemed to have inherited the finest features of them all. She was brown. When people asked me, "What kind of dog is that?" I would always give the same answer: "She's a brown dog." Similarly, when the question is raised,
"What kind of God do you believe in?" my answer is easy: "I believe in a magnificent God."

mmmm - meds.

2010-06-23T21:39:00.000-05:00

Don't worry, here I am.
Got my thyroid checked. Normal range is 0.5 - 4.5.
Mine was 9.49
No wonder I've been so fatigued and sleeping so much.
No wonder my anxiety has been lingering.
No wonder my depression has been at an increase and also lingering.

A week ago I got my med dosage adjusted and I'm already starting to feel the difference.

I cleaned today after work! We're talking the clutter that has piled up on the kitchen counter for two months. Gone!

I vacuumed!

I sorted and filed!

I can't wait to go to bed!

What kind of person does something cruel to themselves like this?

2010-06-10T21:51:00.000-05:00

I made a doctor appointment for 7:30 a.m.
Me.
Me who hits the snooze until 7:30 when I have to be to work at 8:00.

Somehow I made it out of bed at 6:50.
It was horrible, terrible, no good, very bad...
I like to sleep and sleep and sleep.
Worm or no, this bird likes to sleep in.

I went to a new doctor, new office, the whole shebang.
Had blood drawn from some snot who maybe felt like it was too early to be drawing blood.
I have a bump where the needle went in and it bled saturating the cotton ball that was covered with a Band-aid. (sorry if you're squeamish)
Wench.
I'll find out test results and hopefully understand why my energy levels are in the toilet.
Also, why I'm crabby, fatigued, anxious, depressed, irritated, carb-binging, and can't sleep at night.

After my appointment I had Mickey D's for breakfast.
...and I probably won't have it again for another five years.

Vacation in the works - New York!

2010-05-31T14:20:00.000-05:00

Exciting news. I've been invited to go along on a trip to the Adirondacks this summer!
My dad and step mom #2 go just about every year to visit a friend.
I've never been to New York and while it's not NYC, it's still NY. Plans are still in the works, the when and for how long. But it's going to work out and be fairly inexpensive. Airfare and spending money only.
This will be a very different trip than what I'm used to. I usually go for places with a lot of sightseeing, activities, history, etc. I'm on the go from early morning to late evening. I want to see everything and do everything.
This trip will force me to relax (good?) and do things like hike, fish and dare I say horseback riding? (terrified of horses)
I will not be able to research this trip to death and make the plans. I will follow someone else's itinerary. This is a test of how I do letting go of control! Eeep!
This will also be my first vacation with my dad since I was about nine years old. I'm looking forward to the quality time with him.

A trip to Ikea puts a smile on my face

2010-05-29T23:16:00.000-05:00

I love Ikea. I love it too much. I loved it $400 worth yesterday.

Friday I went with the intent to buy one thing. A new dresser for $279. I bought the dresser, sheets, a throw pillow cover, a throw pillow, two sets of curtains and a lamp shade.

I was all gung-ho to put the dresser together but it comes in two big ol' boxes that are too heavy to lift alone (if "he" were around...anyway). The little platform cart thingy that is for community use at my condo has been MIA all day. The dolly has a flat tire. I can't lift the boxes out of my truck into a grocery cart. My plan was to kinda slide it and let it plop onto the flatbed thingy. Then kinda slide it and let it plop onto the floor where I could commense assembly.

Hopefully tomorrow I scrouge up a friend that was also MIA all day to help me. if I can't I plan on bringing it up board by board. Seriously.

Really, when you think of it, that's a lot of stuff for $400. That's what's helping me sleep at night.

14 inches to show pleasure (get your mind out of the gutter)

2010-05-27T22:58:00.000-05:00

My Sam has a 14-inch tail (yes, I've measured). He's a big cat. Tall, long and a little round in the middle. He's a cuddler, just like me, we cuddle. He's my shadow. He looks me in the eye when I talk to him. I believe he brings me much happiness.
When he's not in my face or laying on my lap, there is a spot on the floor he likes to lay. I can't see him from the couch but I know he's there. I'll talk to him and thump goes his tail.

Where's my baby boy?

Thump.

Aren't you going to come sit on my lap?

Thump-thump.

C'mere.

Thump.

And so on...

We have such good times in our home.

No more confusing alone with lonely and isolation

2010-05-26T20:33:00.000-05:00

Still feeling a little empty but have come to several realizations.

I'm trying to get back to the way I was before "him" but without the bitterness.

I don't want to go back to the way I was, pretending I didn't need what I received from this "relationship". Pretending I wasn't lonely. Pretending I didn't care.

I think I've managed to hit all the stages of grief several times. Shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and carb binging.

Today I was motivated and got some of my flowers purchased and some of the container planting done on my balcony. (clarification: I didn't plant the containers IN my balcony, I planted flowers IN the containers ON my balcony).

Was this song written for me?!

2010-05-16T19:50:00.000-05:00

A set back today. An earful of BS and tears. He really got me where it counts.

Fool of Me

by Me'shell Ndegeocello

I remember when you filled my heart with joy
Was I blind to the truth, just there to fill the space
Cause now, you have no interest in anything that I have to say
I allowed you to make me feel....
(talk)I feel so dumb
What kind of fool am I?
You so easily set me aside

Chorus:
You made a fool of me
Tell me why
You say that you don't care, but we made love
Tell me why

You made a fool of me, you made a fool of me
I want to kiss you
Does she want you with the pain that I do
I smell you in my dreams
Now when we're face to face
You won't look me in the eye
No time, no friendship, no love
You say don't touch you, I can't touch you no more
Can't touch you anymore, anymore
Chorus ending:
You made a fool of me
Tell me why
You say that you don't care but we made love
Tell me why
You made a fool of me
Tell me why
Tell me why
You made a fool of me
Tell me why
(Talks) tell me why

Another set back

2010-05-16T19:07:00.000-05:00

Gah.
An earfull of BS
Tears.

A friend told me I went so long shutting out everything that when I finally let "him" in, I gobbled it up, it woke something up in me and was hungry for more and more. I missed the affection, the attention, the contentness, and the happiness. She told me with this last relationship I saw the real mecome back.

That makes me sad. I tried for so long to be that strong single woman that didn't need a man. I got a taste of something that came naturally and that actually fit snuggly into my life and I fell apart when it went away.

I don't want to go back into my hole. It's taking everything I've got to not curl up and disappear for a while.

Starting to snap out of it

2010-05-06T18:09:00.000-05:00

After nearly four weeks of feeling down and out I am finally starting to get myself to get on with my life.

Tonight I didn't come home and sleep. I didn't even feel the strong urge to. I think part of it is that I didn't think of "him" for almost four hours straight. Record! It's so exhausting being sad and it really just isn't my thang.

I came home and immediately threw in a couple loads of laundry and grabbed a bite to eat (leftover fried rice - soooo good!). I'll do two more loads and feel complete (no, I won't be done with laundry but what's left will fit in the hamper).

I'm taking my 4 1/2 hours of comp time tomorrow. The Libster has to pack up and move out of her dorm/apartment. It's already the end of her school year I'll take her to lunch and help her pack. I ain't moving nuthin' though. I'm trying to talk the girl into getting a job for the summer at a movie theater so ~~I can~~ she can see movies for free. I keep everyone up to date on that as I'm sure you're all on the edge of your seats.

First loads of wash are done. I gotta get to them before some perv is sorting through my underoos.

Light bulbs on all over

2010-05-05T22:58:00.000-05:00

I think I just stumbled upon the most brilliant idea I've ever had.

She loves to clean. (I know, it's disgusting).

I hate to clean. I'd rather stick needles under my fingernails.

I love to do hair.

Do you see where I'm going here?

She was all for it. I do her hair (color & cut) once a month and she cleans my place once a month. She charges $25/hour. She usually gives me $50 - $60 to do her hair.

I'll vacuum and do whatever touch ups inbetween.

We'll work out the details for her starting in a couple weeks.

This is so friggin' exciting.

I'll spill a little because I just need to get a little out

2010-05-01T23:35:00.000-05:00

I've pretty much kept to myself over this "breakup". Mainly because I'm surprised at myself for falling for him, for not expressing my feelings before he left, for missing him, and yes, for crying. It's a little humiliating, a little pathetic. I wasn't looking for this and now I want it and it's gone.
It's only been three weeks but it's been the longest three weeks I've lived through in a long, long time. I think about him all day and fight the urge to contact him. I did once, a couple of weeks ago, the ball is in his court. He's not throwing back.
I get home from work and sleep so I don't have to think. Plus I'm exhausted from all the thinking. I go workout then I come home and sleep some more but never before midnight.
I put on a happy face and go on with my usual activities but I know I'm a little withdrawn. I don't look for advice; I don't want advice. I know what to do but staring into space and wallowing in self-pity is sometimes a better alternative in my eyes... my red, puffy eyes.
This past week has been a little better but I don't get over these feelings quickly - I feel deeply. I can't be friends because I want more. I understand that sometimes the feelings are only one sided. Some relationships just don't work and you can't make them. I hate all that.
I suppose one good thing is that whole part of going to the gym a lot.

Some changes

2010-05-01T23:05:00.000-05:00

I made a page tab for "What I'm Reading". I'm sticking to list format only.

I'm starating a new blog for running and running related things. This will keep it seperate from all the garbley gook that comes out here.

Run, Fat Girl! Run!

Run, Fat Girl, Run

2010-04-30T23:04:00.000-05:00

Starting today I'm going to attempt to run again.
In the spring of 2004, I ran for three months, challenging myself every step of the way. I lost weight and felt good. Then one day I ran and I just became thoroughly exhausted only five minutes in. I was horribly fatigued for several weeks. I stopped - for good. Turns out it was my thyroid levels that were out of whack. By the time I got them back to where they should be I lost interest in running. I was afraid of getting that intense fatigued feeling again.
All these years I've talked about starting again but, well, I was lazy. Now that I've been working out consistently for the past six weeks or so, I'm feeling stronger and motivated. I'm ready to add to my workout.
Thanks to Laurie's blog I'm determined to start again. Also on her blog I found a link to another blog and according to this schedule, I'm going to work my butt off - quite literally.
Tonight I started on the treadmill at the gym. Booooring! I knew I didn't like running on a treadmill but it was late and dark out and it was my only option (other than putting it off another day). So, I will definitely be taking this to the great outdoors.
After my run/walk, I stopped at Kohl's and bought a new sports bra, socks and workout shorts. I will need to buy new running shoes but what I have now will due for a couple weeks.
Wish me luck!
Now I have to work on my playlist...

My mom, the "copter" pilot

2010-04-21T10:16:00.000-05:00

My mom and stepdad were in Hawaii this past Feb. for a few weeks (yeah, they got it like that). My mom, who is terrified of heights sent me this text:

I'm going to be a helicopter pilot.
We went on one w/o doors.
Steve cried like a little girl.

She also said later texted later that if she had her "copter license" she could get somewhere faster.

Me: I don't think anyone would fly with a pilot that calls a chopper a "copter".

Momma: The one with the license can call it whatever they want.

I love my momma.

I deserve the world handed to me on a platter.

2010-04-20T21:33:00.000-05:00

I deserve someone who wants to be with only me.
I deserve someone who adores me.
I deserve someone who can't wait to see me again.
I deserve someone who thinks about me all day, missing me, and lets me know.
I deserve someone who doesn't make excuses.
I deserve someone who is better.

I know, this is getting depressing. Just imagine if you had to listen to this in your head all day. It gets damn exhausting, I tell you. I'm too old for this, I should know better by now. Tsk.

long week of too much brain activity

2010-04-18T20:59:00.000-05:00

This has been the longest week ever. I'm pretty sure there have been several hours added to each day and I'm pretty sure the hours have been longer than 60 minutes each. I don't know if this is legal.
Many of those extra hours I have spent staring off into space, deep in thought or hardly thinking. Sometimes trying to close my eyes for sleep that doesn't come.
Distractions are good to keep my mind off "things" but I'm someone who sometimes needs to be alone to let all the thinking out.

I'm a hooper

2010-04-15T21:10:00.000-05:00

Hula hooper that is.

About a week and a half ago I bought a weighted hula hoop. A friend of mine ordered one and I had to get one for myself. A coworker of hers has been using one for about three weeks and has already lost about two inches off her waist.

I tried hooping a few years ago and couldn't keep the hoop up. And before that it had been since high school at least.

I bought the four pound Acu hoop, started last Tuesday at one minute and have worked my way up to about three and a half minutes.

Directions say to only do one to three minutes the first week. The second week three to five. Eventually working your way up to two ten minute sessions a day, never doing more than 20 minutes a day.

I took measurements before starting and will wait until four weeks to take them again.

Stay tuned...

A un-wide range of emotion

2010-04-14T20:49:00.000-05:00

Blah.
Ick.
Phooey.
Crap.
Dangit.
Son of a biscuit.
Sniffle.
Wah.

And that's all I've got to say about that.

speed bump ahead

2010-04-11T22:42:00.000-05:00

I have never had thick skin when it came to matters of the heart. It's who I am. I'm sensitive.

I went in feeling tough with walls built high and strong then gradually, bit by bit, I let down the walls I spent far too long building. I won't lie, as the walls came down it felt good. There was a certain feel of relief, comfort and, surprisingly, security. I could breathe and the air was fresh and I wanted to keep breathing it. I felt confident and secure and was having fun.

I let the walls down and now I'm in trouble.

I'm struggling with what I allow myself to do from here. I may loose my common sense and make decisions with my heart rather than my mind. Will the decisions I make hurt me more? Is this just a bump in the road, a stupid, arrogant, self-absorbed, oblivious, thoughtless, clueless, bump in the road?

DIY ADD

2010-04-07T21:41:00.000-05:00

Seems I have a problem and it's become quite apparent. I've got too much going on at one time.

I love DIY projects but this time I've taken on more than I can handle.

I tiled my entry way - a 25 sq ft area - a couple of weeks ago. I still have a bit of a mess to pick up from it.

Last Friday I put in a new bathroom sink. I can't get it to stop leaking. Everything that was under the sink is spread out in the bathroom.

I painted a mirror frame in the middle of it all.

I've decided not take on any more projects until I get my shit together.

Oh, I've got a brilliant closet plan in the works...

Sox

2010-04-06T21:50:00.000-05:00

This is the email I received from my mom this afternoon:

I have 49 pairs of socks, not including those knee high black or white
trouser stockings. I think I will go get another pair to make it an
even 50. No. Wait. Maybe you want some of my old socks. Gosh, let
me know.

I'm hoping she's just going through and thinning out her clothes. Otherwise, why would one count socks?

And no, I don't want her socks.

Dad goes to the hospital for stent and Brazilians

2010-03-19T23:08:00.000-05:00

My dad went in to get another stent put in the artery that was 70% blocked. He did really well and felt pretty good after the procedure. Apparently the doctors keep you awake during the procedure.
It took about an hour and I asked him if he could feel anything. He said not so much but twice he had them give them some drug so he could go to sleep. He said he got bored...
He also informed me that he got a Brazilian wax. His tone was that he seemed pretty impressed by it and maybe a little proud of it.

Me: What?
Dad: yeah, they did both sides because they didn't know what side they'd go in.
Me: No, that's not a Brazilian, Brazilians are all the way back. zip, up the back side.
Dad: psshh. They didn't do that. I don't want them to do that.

Thak you Jeezus he didn't request one.

They should change their name to The Sucky McSuckertons

2010-03-01T19:21:00.000-06:00

My dad and I went to see The Chieftains in concert last night. I was really excited all week. Sadly it was a let down (except for the dancing). Between the poor sound system, the coo-coo's swaying and bobbing their heads in front of us and the woman in my perifrail vision checking her phone everying five minutes, it was enough to go a little postal.

We left an hour later during intermission to go have dessert at the French Meadow.

OMG You're so skinny!

2010-02-18T17:58:00.000-06:00

Someone at work thought I look skinny today.

The scale doesn't say anything different and I'm far from skinny but I'll take the compliment to keep moving foward.

I donated all my "fat" jeans.

One things for sure, I have to get into the gym again. I've been busy and L-A-Z-Y!

Online dating

2010-02-14T21:51:00.000-06:00

I don't like writing the profile.
It becomes trite, corny, generic and impersonal.
Someone do it for me, I have to finish watching Benjamin Button.

Feeling blah

2010-01-30T12:18:00.000-06:00

I'm feeling sad today.
Some feeling in my heart feels empty.
I can't find the cause though.
I'm feeling unsettled.
I've got that "I want to run away" feeling.
I worry too much about other people.
I want to fix everything.
I'm restless.
I'm missing someone more than I should.
I need a vacation.

January 25th

2010-01-25T08:00:00.000-06:00

Today I turn 38.
My sister turns 19.
She is the same age I was when she was born.
She is half my age; I am twice hers.
Two family members have thought I was going to be 37.
It forced me to do the math.
Nope, I'm still 38.

Because we're twins

2010-01-05T17:38:00.000-06:00

My little sister and I have the same birthday. We were born 19 years apart almost to the minute.

She is now going to be 19. For the past couple of years there has been talk of getting a tattoo of the Aquarius symbol. We found our design and I waited until she was ready.

We got our ink done on Saturday night. I am very pleased with how they turned out.

Peanus?

2009-12-31T18:31:00.000-06:00

Saw my dad today. He was up walking around - amazing how far he's come!!
I ask him the usual, "how are you feeling"? "What medications are you taking". Etc... I then asked how the incision is where they entered through his groin (they go through the main artery there to get to the heart!).
Asking this question should have had a return of "it's healing well"... right?? Not from my dad:
"It's completely black. The whole area. My scrotum, my peanus, my hip all the way over to the other side. I mean really black. It's unreal".
Oh GAWD! Please don't show me. Please don't show me. Please don't show me.
I try not to look horrified. First, the idea that it is bruised that much. Second, he said scrotum. Third, he said "peanus" pronounced pee-anus. Now, was this a slip of pronunciation or was he referring to his whole nether regions, coming up with a new term?
I was done talking about it and moved on to "oh wow! Look how tiny the nitro pills are"!

Happy New Year!

I think I'll sleep tonight

2009-12-30T20:39:00.000-06:00

My dad is home!
He's feeling good.
I'm feeling good.

I hate when my world gets all topsy turvy

2009-12-28T20:51:00.000-06:00

My 64 year old dad had a heart attack last night. It disturbs me beyond comprehension. He is doing well today; even went for a stroll around the nurses station.
He was 100% blocked in one vessel and is 70% blocked in the other. Two stints later and less than 24 hours, he's eating vanilla pudding, sitting in a chair and joking about how he projectile vomited three times that afternoon... right at the nurse. (In his defense he warned them it was a-comin') Way to go, dad.
Medicine is a wonder.
The reality is that my parents are aging. The reality is that I don't think that 64 is that old. It kept me awake all night and made me anxious all day. What if... what if... what if...
One thing, I wish those hospital gowns closed in the back. Forever I will have the vision of my dad's nekkid bum.

Refelctions on 2009

2009-12-21T22:13:00.000-06:00

I feel like I've grown a lot this past year.
I went through five months of unemployment that led me to a job that pays me considerably less but I love it considerably more.
I went on two trips. One to Daytona Beach, FL and the other to San Antonio, TX. Both were so much fun.
I made a huge step toward accepting my body (it's helped that I lost 25 lbs.)
I let go of all the weights I put on my own shoulders. All the pressures and expectations I put on myself for so many years I've begun to let go of. I'm continuing to learn that it's okay to occasionally live in the moment because I've spent most of my life living in the past and planning too hard for the future. I'm allowing myself to be a little more carefree and for the first time I'm completely okay with who I am and where I am.
I know I still have hurdles ahead of me. I know I will occasionally falter.
But right now, dare I say? I'm happy.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

2009-12-21T22:03:00.000-06:00

I finally finished my shopping. I found plenty for myself as well. Most have been wrapped and tucked away so Sam can't eat the tape.
There will be snow for Christmas.
My cards got in the mail this afternoon.
I'm exhausted from waiting until the last minute.
I'm looking forward to spending the time with my family.

Buncha losers

2009-12-16T21:42:00.000-06:00

Well, that was short lived.

There was so much "confusion" and whining and "too many changes" that we are
postponing the Biggest Loser contest at work.

Ultimately it came down to a bunch of lazies and those with zero will power.

"A lot of us are too busy to workout right now with the holidays".
"There are so many treats coming into the office from vendors".
"It will be easier to start after the first of the year".

I will continue what I'm doing. I lost almost two lbs. last week. Of course it's the same two that I've been losing and gaining for the past several months...

Moving at a stand still

2009-12-10T17:59:00.000-06:00

It's been really difficult to get going with all the Christmas stuff I have to do. I haven't put up my tree and at this point I won't because I'll just be taking it right back down again in three weeks.
I'm not making my own Christmas cards this year. I guess that's about right; I've been averaging a homemade card about every other year. Still, I have to get out there and buy some so they get in the mail before Christmas!
I haven't done any shopping. I have a list and ideas but no motivation to do it. However, I'm going to knock out three or four gifts tonight on a trip out. That leaves eight or ten gifts to still buy.
Then there's the whole wrapping thing. I'm fine once I get started. It's the digging everything out and putting it all away... and the folding and the taping and the ribbon tying and the tag writing...
I better get out there before I put on the yoga pants and curl up with my knitting needles with a cup of hot cocoa.

Game on

2009-12-08T22:57:00.000-06:00

Monday a group of us at work started the "Biggest Loser" competition. We all chip in $20 and will go until the end of January. From there we decide if we do another round.

Day two and there is already much confusion. I mean, really, how would you expect to participate in this challenge? Weigh in once a week, calculate the percentage of loss, at the end of January the greatest percentage would win.

Emails were flying this afternoon:
"I thought we weren't going to weigh in again until the end". Where's the challenge in that?? How will you keep motivated??
"Who's going to figure out the percentage"? Gah!
"We have to figure out the rules". It isn't that complicated. You lose weight.
"I don't have much money". This I understand but...

I would love to have everyone put in their $20 and then, each week the person who comes in losing the least ("under the yellow line") would put in another $10. There is potential to win nearly $200 for the biggest loser.

Meanwhile one of the guys was eating candy and cashews in the break room, one of the girls goes out drinking regularly and another is one who isn't greatly motivated. This leaves competition really between myself and another girl.

Game on!

Working out seems to be working out

2009-11-29T17:58:00.000-06:00

A month ago I joined a gym. I will be reimbursed $20 if I go at least 12 times in a month. I made it by the skin of my teeth having to go five days in a row at the end.

I've tried several of the classes and I love Yoga. I've tried a step class which I found out was advanced 3/4 of the way in. No wonder I couldn't lift my legs or arms anymore by that point! I took a Pilates class that I would like to continue taking as well.

I took my measurements at the beginning and took them again at the end. I plan on doing this every month.

So far I've lost:

Chest: 1/2"
Waist: 2"
Hips: 1/2"
Thigh: gained 1/2"
Arm: gained 1/2"

I'm assuming (hoping) the gain is muscle forming. Or inconsistancies in the measurements. At least that's what I'm telling myself.

Done. Finished. Completed. Gone.

2009-11-25T18:23:00.000-06:00

I am so happy! So relived. Life is worth living again.

I resigned from the board. I could have just stepped down but I wanted out. I have been overloaded with making decisions I don't care about. Or, I want someone else to make because, really, I'm tired of people griping about the money spent but don't take the time to come to meetings and understand the whats and whys.

I'm tired of asking Former President to stop jingling her keys during the meetings. I LOVE that another board member told a woman she didn't appreciate her sarcasm. I'm tired of being grossed out by a particular board member's herniated bellybutton sticking out from his pregnant belly through his tight shirt. (gag!) I'm tired of wondering what shape Mary's mind will be in when she comes to a meeting. Will she be happy? Confused? Jolly? Irritated? Tell us how wonderful we all are? Or will she, like last time, say, "I know you're sitting up there in your princess chair but I'd like to see Former President back on the board". Then sit and glare at me. Really? Princess. I think Queen.

I'm tired of the politics, the babysitting, the scolding, and the decisions that directly make another person's life miserable.

I don't want to spend five minutes deciding what color a suggestion box should be and another five discussing if the clip board that holds the paper next to it should be pink, purple, green or blue.

Therefore, beginning December 1st I am no longer a board member but "simply" a homeowner. I can now stick out my tongue at Mary's back without getting in trouble.

Knitting

2009-11-22T19:53:00.000-06:00

Since it's gotten cooler out I've started knitting more. This is a little blanket I knit for Ella.

I also knit a few hats. I'm practicing a few patterns. So far I'm not really happy with how they're turning out so I will keep on practicing.

Welcome Baby Ella

2009-11-19T13:53:00.000-06:00

My step sister had her first child about seven weeks ago. She had a really rough pregnancy. Lots of sickness, early labor, bed rest, the whole sha-bang.

This is how it started(email sent by stepdad):

new grandchild last night, all of 4lbs 16oz's. both are doing fine. the baby's heart rate was getting low this past week, so they decided to do ahead with a cesarian. ella had a little trouble breathing at first, but last word was everything is ok now.

Then this (stepdad again):

I just talked to Carmen and both are doing fine. Ella has eaten twice so far but Carmen did not get to feed her. She has held her once. Ella is in an incubator until she is stable which might be by this afternoon. Carmen is really tired and can't believe how much better she feels now that she is not pregnant!

Then my mom sent me this:

A funny thing. Last night, while very doped up, she said she hadn't really seen her since she was cleaned up, so Glen kept showing her cell phone pictures.
Today, she said that Glen would be sitting talking to Carmen and then get up and say... well, I think I'm going to go hang out with Ella.

Now, everything is going well except Ella's days and nights are mixed up and Carmen is completely exhausted.

This is the lil' stinker causing all the fuss
.

Time to get tough with the fat

2009-11-18T08:00:00.000-06:00

About two weeks about I and three of my coworkers joined LA Fitness. We chose LA because there is no lengthy contract to sign - it's month to month. Also, our health insurance will reimburse $20 a month if we go twelve times each month. That makes membership $10.

So far I've only gone five times this month.

I've tried three classes: Pilates, Step, and Yoga. I love Yoga! I will do Pilates at least once a month and Step I could take or leave. I have to get in there and do some weights though.

I've still maintained my 25 lb loss. It was just over a year ago that I started my weight loss. Most of it was due to being more active while I was unemployed and then starting a job where I was more active as well. Now I've hit a plateau and need to start with the diet and exercise. The fun stuff.

Burning the place down

2009-11-17T18:34:00.000-06:00

I set some water on the stove to boil, went to the sink to rinse some dishes out. I smelled something... something burning. I look over and there was smoke pouring out of a box of instant oatmeal I had left on the stove. I had turned on the wrong burner.

One of the first lessons I learned in Home Ec. way back in 1st or 2nd grade was that you NEVER leave paper on your stove. I've always thought, really, why would you have paper on your stove? I have followed this lesson up until this very day.

Lesson #1 NEVER leave paper on your stove.
Lesson #2 Never buy a box of instant oatmeal that is too big to store in your cupboard.

Music Video

2009-11-16T19:01:00.000-06:00

My sister is going to a college for the arts. She's a freshmen. She has a Media class once a week for five hours. She started out with some assignments taking digital pictures which she liked okay. This most recent assignment was to make a music video using any song but it had to be between a certain time length. She had three ideas right off the bat. She went with the one you see below and she had a blast working on it. She worked hard and I'm super proud of her!

Since getting the internet

2009-11-08T13:56:00.000-06:00

I've got a lot of cathing up to do.

I've got 11 episodes of Lost to watch from last season. Project Runway was on my list but I can't get full episodes.

I've designed eight pairs of Converse.

Shopped for tall boots.

Watched part one of Pam and Jim's wedding on The Office.

Watched the trailer for "Precious" and "New Moon".

Played some game that requires finding hidden objects - for about two hours.

It's good to be back online!

Such a techie

2009-11-04T21:26:00.000-06:00

Lookit me! I just got cable and internet! I installed my internet myself this evening including the modem and router. I'm officially wireless!

I will be able to catch up on all my internet surfing. Since getting my new job I have no time to get online. This is good because it means I'm busy but there is a ton that I miss doing.

Anyway, I'm up and at 'em!

Date with my dad

2009-09-01T12:59:00.000-05:00

Looking forward to going to the Orchestra with my dad!

Minnesota Orchestra
Osmo Vänskä, conductor
Stephen Hough, piano

PROKOFIEV
Lieutenant Kijé Suite
19'

TCHAIKOVSKY
Concert Fantasia
26'

TCHAIKOVSKY
Selections from Sleeping Beauty
40'

Stephen Hough returns to Orchestra Hall to start our season with a rare beauty. He and the Orchestra are recording all four of Tchaikovsky's piano-and-orchestra works live in concert, and this week it's the Concert Fantasia, full of heartbreakingly beautiful melodies. Come be a part of history as it's captured in Orchestra Hall.

Home Pilates

2009-08-28T08:51:00.000-05:00

A couple (few?) weeks ago I hit my 25 lbs lost mark. (YAY!) Since then I have gone up and down a couple lbs. So, I have to add in more exercise.

I put in my Windsor Pilates DVD last night. A quick 20 minute workout. Most "moves" were simple enough and I could tell I could gain strength from them. However, a few were a bit more challenging...

Doing back rolls: basically I'm curled into a ball balancing on my butt. Fairly easy enough. Then we roll back and then up again without letting your feet touch the floor. This is to "massage the spine". Back and up, back and up. When I was done doing the six rolls I found that I had completely turned around and was facing away from the TV. Hmmm... gotta work on the control part.

Then there's this "scissor kick" move where you're laying on your side, and you lift both legs about six inches off the floor and kick them back and forth. 1-2-3-4-5-... but wait I'm still on 1!

All this while breathing in and out of your nose for five counts each. Mostly I just held my breath until the instructor said, "Breathe in..."

I've got a lot of work to do...

The college girl

2009-08-24T12:59:00.000-05:00

My sister moved onto campus this weekend. This is her first time on her own, in her own apartment. She's living with someone she'd never met. She's on campus with a ton of other students, away from the comforts of her home of 18 1/2 years (although, only a 20 minute drive away).

I spend several hours with her on Friday night, her first night. She was anxious but she was strong. It was the first glimpse of vulnerability I saw from this girl since she was eight. She often times went from laughing to a look of panic. Everything was too new and happening so fast. She brought her baby blanket, put it on a shelf in her closet and said, "Just in case".

But she's excited.

Sitting on the floor of her new bedroom, windows open with the laughter and conversation of distant students in the building next door, I looked at my sister while we played games of Slap Jack and War. I physically felt the realization that this little girl, is my adult sister. She has her own place, fulfilling her goals of going to school, learning so, so much.

I felt proud of her. I felt a new love for her. I hoped I would still like the adult sister. I hoped the adult sister would still like me.

How to gain 2.8 lbs in seven days

2009-08-10T10:37:00.000-05:00

Eat like a little piggy.

I had pizza twice this past week.
I ate out twice for lunch.
I went out to dinner three times.
I had Dairy Queen once.
I had two Hershey candy bars.

Put it all together and what have you got? PMS.

I wish I were this funny

2009-08-05T08:24:00.000-05:00

I completely love this. Especially the line, "This is all medical jargon, I don't expect you to follow". Seriously! How can you not laugh at that?

NNO

2009-08-04T20:24:00.001-05:00

Our association had it's National Night Out gathering this evening. We didn't expect many people and rightly so, only about 20 people showed. We just ordered some pizzas and let people know they could bring something to share.

It's odd, sometimes, what people will bring. This evening we got:

Two pans of brownies
Two boxes of Little Debbie Hunny Buns
A already opened can of smoked almonds
A Baggie of leftover? tortilla chips with salsa
Rice Krispie bars
Beer & pop

Our last little potluck someone brought two single servings of potato salad and some turkey almond salad from a deli and an opened, half-eaten bag of blue tortilla chips.

Needless to say, this is why I have a hard time eating at potlucks with people I don't know.

Remembering

2009-08-01T20:33:00.000-05:00

It was two years ago today that the 35W bridge collapse.
Without planning it and not realizing it until I approached it, I crossed the bridge this afternoon.
I was coming home from stopping at the cemetary where my grandma and grandpa are buried. This too was an unplanned visit. This is the first visit outside of Memorial Day weekend when my mom, uncle and I tend to the sites, planting the urn, etc. It's peaceful there as I lay on the grass and look at the sky and just remember.
When I'm there I realize a part of me is missing.

Nap attack!

2009-07-31T21:15:00.000-05:00

Friday is the only day of the work week that I allow myself to fall asleep after work. I look forward to this nap all week. I love me some naps!
However, when I take naps, they are not 20-30 minute naps. They tend to be about two hours. As was the case today. I came home dragging, laid on my stomach crosswise on my bed and shut my eyes. Two hours later I woke up with the striped pattern from my bedspread permanently embedded on my face, Sam licking my cheek and a Harley rumbling and sputtering outside.
Now, here I am at my neighbors checking on her cat while she enjoys a much needed vacation, sitting on her computer with dial-up service.
I know how to live it up.

I guess it wasn't a compliment??

2009-07-29T16:13:00.000-05:00

A couple Fridays ago I got together with an old flame. I was 23 when we dated for about four or five months. We remained in contact for several years after and then communication stopped.

I found him on handy-dandy Facebook and we made plans immediately for a non-date. (A non-date is when you do date things with people you may date but you aren't dating... or something).

We went out to eat and watched a movie. Pretty simple. Conversation flowed. Somehow we got on the subject of skin (who knows how one gets on particular subjects). I mentioned that I wanted to do something about my acne scars. He said he never noticed them. I told him I'm very self conscious of them. He said something about people always being self conscious of things that other people never notice. He said, "I just say you're beautiful". I said, "thank you"! and his reply was, "I mean, I'd say that to anyone".

I wasn't sure what to say to that. I don't take compliments well and here I buck up, accept the compliment and just say thank you but it wasn't a compliment directed directly to me?

Boys are so stupid.

Discombobulated

2009-07-15T17:53:00.000-05:00

I love that word.
It's how I've been feeling since I've started my new job. I'm so busy but I love it.
I haven't read any of the blogs I'd been reading daily - I feel out of the loop. I check my home e-mail once a day (if that). A week goes by before I realize I haven't talked to my mom (we usually take a few times a week). My weekends have been filled with doing hair, I haven't done anything social.
This week, when I come home in the evenings, I've been organizing. Why didn't I do this when I had all day off for five months? I've gotten rid of so much crap. I've shredded enough old files to fill up a large garbage bag. It feels good to purge all that!
Tonight I will sit on my arse and watch So You Think You Can Dance and knit a little of a blanket I'm working on. I can't wait.

Finding a use for business cards

2009-07-07T12:41:00.000-05:00

I have business cards now. I can't imagine what I would need them for other than to give them to family and friends. However, I found a use. The other night I put one in a drawing for a free Chipotle lunch. Good use for business cards.
Today I get a fax forwarded to me from Chipotle. I won! Lunch for five and low and behold there are five people in my department. Lunch is my treat on Friday.

Public Enemies

2009-07-03T16:06:00.000-05:00

Because of my intense, deep love for all things Johnny Depp, I went to see Public Enemies this afternoon. It didn't get the very best of reviews but I really liked it.

The world traveler returns

2009-07-01T17:07:00.000-05:00

My sister has gotten to travel this year with her senior Art class to Paris and Barcelona and then with her Japanese class to Japan.
On Monday she came home from two weeks in Japan. She had a blast! She showed pictures and the video she took. I loved the video of her learning a tea ceremony taught to her by her host family. Her host mother and father had a great sense of humor and showed her many things. Her "host girl" (17) spoke great english. Her host boy (13)and the grandmother didn't speak english.

This is an e-mail she was able to send after only being there a week.

Konnichiwa, I am writing from the land of the rising sun.
Japan (nihon) is very, very different. It is not rude to slurp your food, and you have to take a shower before you take a bath (ofurou). Everything is opposite, even for their blind people. Our blind people use their hands to see things. Apparently Japan's blind people use their feet because everywhere you go there are ridges and bumps on the walkways so blind people know where to walk and stop. Not a bad idea acutally. Some of the weird and interesting things I have done so far include: Being smushed into a subway car during rush hour. Playing a DJ game in an arcade. Wearing a yukata and setting off fireworks (hanabi). And making apple (ringo) rabbits (usagi). I went to the yokkozuno zoo yesterday. My host girl Yuu said it was very small (chisai), but turned out to be very large (ooki). Today we went to Universal Studios Japan, which was super fun (tanoshii). My host girl is Yuu, who is super freaking cute (kawaii), her whole room is pink, and she screamed bloody murder on every ride we went on.
Thats all I have for now, so unless I can get on another computer some other time then I'll talk to you later (jaane).
Libby

She said her host family cried when she had to leave. Awww!

Working hard for my money

2009-06-23T16:47:00.000-05:00

So far I really like my new job! I'm busy and the days go by fast. Of course I'm learning a ton of new things and it takes me a while to get through the work since I'm not familiar with it. The people I work with are really nice and very helpful with my millions of questions.
I think, in the past two days, I've done more work than I did in a week at my other job. Seriously. It's great!

Oh, and I hit 20lbs lost!

Mama needs a new pair of shoes

2009-06-19T11:01:00.000-05:00

So I bought four.

I needed shoes for work.

At my last job I wore jeans and tennies most days. While I can wear jeans everyday at my new job, I feel I shouldn’t wear tennies quite yet. I got all for less than $60 - booyah!

Water park

2009-06-17T10:01:00.000-05:00

Monday I went to a water park to visit with my good friend and her kids. It's a really neat park. Instead of a wading pool the area is full of different fountains for kids to run through.

Shoot 'em up

2009-06-16T15:33:00.000-05:00

This past weekend I went shooting with my dad. I haven't been since I was about 10 years old. I shot a .357 revolver and a .45 Beretta.
I've had this phobia of guns for the past several years and this kinda helped me a bit. I am a horrible shot but for the most part I hit the paper... not always the target itself though.
I remember the revolver having a lot of kick and I was prepared for it but holy shiite! My hand was tired and starting to shake. My wrist was sore for two days. I was trying to hard to control the kick.
It was fun, I'd do it again. Next time I'm going to shoot a .22 and I think I'll pass on the .45.

I may have just saved my neighbors' lives.

2009-06-11T08:25:00.000-05:00

This could be the one thing that saves my sanity... my life. I got ridiculously happy when I watched this. I saw hope. I heard birds sing. I did a happy dance. This could change my life and those of my upstairs neighbors. Ohhhh, watch the whole thing. It's so beautiful!

How to Repair Squeaky Floors Through Carpeting Video Floors This Old House

Shared via AddThis

Dad was in a sentimental mood

2009-06-10T14:50:00.000-05:00

The other day I posted the toast my dad gave my sister at her graduation party. Later, as I was saying good-bye to him he puts his arm around me and started saying things like:

You are the best big sister. Really. Libby is really lucky.
and...
Since you were nineteen when she was born, you’ve kind of helped raise her. You did a great job.
and...
She really loves being with you. She loves you a lot. I love you very much.
and...
You truly are very special to me; you're my little girl.

There was a mild panic building in me. Oh god dad, don't cry. Don't cry.

My dad and I have grown closer over the past 10 years or so. Before that I was extremely intimidated by him. In recent years he has had these "episodes" where he tells me how much he loves me, my dad is still learning, at 64, to express his feelings to those he loves. For me, at 37, it's good to hear.

Toasting the grad

2009-06-08T14:38:00.000-05:00

My little baby sister graduated high school on Saturday. The family sat in the balcony which were good seats but bad for picture taking. In the crowd of purple gowns and caps below us, I see my sister's face looking in the balcony for us, beaming. I waved, she waved back and her smile took over her face. I felt my throat catch at the sight of her. This is a very happy day.

This is more or less the toast my dad gave my sister this weekend at her open house.

I realized this morning that this will be the last graduation of one of my kids. (Libby interupts. Libby: What about college? Dad: Let’s hope so) I forget how important of an experience this is to a young… and naïve person. It’s exciting to think about how much life you have ahead of you to experience and how much you’ll grow and learn.
When Libby was little, about a year old, I started telling her, “don’t get fancy”. This meant don’t go running off. Stick where I can see you. When she was about 2 ½ or 3, we were at McDonald’s and she stood up and said to me, “dad, I want to get fancy”. She wanted to run out one entrance door and back in the other door. Anyway, what I'm saying is now I guess I’ll have to let her go and get fancy.

Cheers!

YAY!

2009-06-05T19:10:00.000-05:00

I got the job! I am way too excited!
I had a hard time sleeping last night. I was up watching a movie until a little after 1 am. Not sleepy at all. I woke up sometime around 3:30 am and again around 6:30 am. I was going to just get up but I felt crappy so I dozed on and off for a couple more hours. At 9:30 my phone rings, the caller ID says it's the management company that manages my condo association. It's also the manager I work with as board president. Anyway, I didn't feel like answering. I was feeling like I didn't give a damn what the manager had to say about the piece of crap property... but I answered anyway.
To my surprise it was the woman I interviewed with. I held my breath after she identified herself. Within micro-seconds I was trying to determine her tone. She's calling me ten days too early. She's too chipper to give me bad news. Maybe she's just trying to buffer it. It's gotta be bad news. How should I react to it? Breathe....
Wait, she offered me the job? Holy. Uh, yeah, I'll take that bad boy.
Tentatively I will start the 22nd so I have two weeks to enjoy the time off without looking for a job and stressing over the whole absurdty of it all.
Another awesome thing, I can wear jeans. I was sure I was going to have to buy a whole new waredrobe. As fun as that would have been, the funds aren't there. I'll still have to buy something.
The hours are perfect, the location is super close to home. I have really good feelings about this. I'm happy!